©2008 Joan M Newcomb
I have many tools and techniques in my spiritual toolkit from different origins. There seems to be a thread of Truth through every belief system and practice. It's our individual journey to discover it for ourselves.
In my original training, I learned about space - we each have our individual auras and to be able to create our own reality we needed to separate others' energies from our own. It sometimes had a bit of a rigid interpretation which was difficult to maintain. After all, how do you separate your energy from your newborn? How can you fall in love if you don't allow merging of space?
Then I learned about detachment - how to detach from a loved one's crazy making behavior in order to regain a sense of sanity.
Most recently I've been learning about holographic reality that everyone is your projection or reflection, so they're not real or really there. They're just extras in your personal movie. It's a little harder to wrap one's head around this idea, especially if you're psychic and can feel people's thoughts and feelings from 3,000 miles away.
When you consider that this is all a game created by Consciousness, to experience the opposite of itself, then every player at their essence is Consciousness, is One, and the individual is just an illusion created for the fun of knowing what diversity feels like.
However, we can't get in touch with our inner sense of Oneness if we're distracted by others who are playing different versions of the Human Game. So this is where detachment and separations comes in helpful.
Allowing others to have their own life experiences and the consequences of their actions is beneficial for their own growth and your own sanity. If you never allow your toddler to fall down, they'll never learn to walk. The same goes for adult children, siblings, other relatives, and friends. If you're focused on the way others are living their lives, you'll never live your own.
I learned detachment when my children were young, because they lived every other week with their father. I decided that what went on in his household was none of my business, which gave me the space to focus on creating my own home life with them on the weeks they were with me. I also realized that each of my children were wise and immortal Beings with their individual connection to Source, inherently knowing the direction of their personal path in this life time. This helped me a lot as they grew up and made choices about creating their own life stories. And it's given me joy to see them surprise me with the things they do create!
The other day I had a conversation with my mother who has a very different worldview than I do. She's a staunch Republican (Conservative), a life long Protestant Christian, and a retired information officer for the CIA. We're lightyears apart and yet have a good relationship based on respecting each other's space -- although she wouldn't use those words.
There are others whose lives are full of chaos and unhappiness and this is where I practice detachment. I spent many years of pain and depression until I learned to step away from their reality. You can't change, fix or control another choice of reality, you can only contribute to it or enable it to stay the same. Detaching allows you to separate You from them.
There are different energy techniques for separation, you can visualize you being in your bubble (aura) and them being in theirs, you can imagine their energy that's in your space flowing back to them (and vice versa). I like the Serenity Prayer for helping me to determine what's mine and what's not (Italics are my comments):
Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
(other people, places and things)
Courage to change the things I can
My attitude and focus
And the wisdom to know the difference
me - not me - me - not me!
Serenity is the feeling you gain when you let go people and their effect on you.
My invitation today is to notice your where your attention is and how you feel when you're focused outside of your own reality!