"Don't React Dramatically - Even If It Seems Dramatic" I came up with that motto twenty years ago when married to a drug addict who was in early recovery. It seemed like a never ending roller coaster.
But gradually I learned to not react to the drama. It was usually something blown out of proportion, or misinterpreted.
In fact, things can wait 24 hours before responding to, if you're going to respond at all. In 24 hours, the emotions can blow off, and you can step away from what's going on.
You can choose to respond or not to respond.
If it's an emergency, then you need a clear head to deal with it anyway.
Family gatherings are a good place to use energy techniques to help stay out of the drama. Here are some useful ones:
1. Bug Zapper Technique
Remember those 'bug zappers' that look like blue-light lanterns, hanging on porches in the summer? You can imagine yourself in encased in your own 'bug zapper', but instead it zaps projections - both towards you and from you. Any negativity (even unexpressed) gets zapped! More about bug zappers here and here.
2. Half Step Above
Groups match energy and emotional levels. You can stay within your family gathering and yet above the drama by imaging yourself a 'half step above' their group vibration. First, allow yourself to be grounded, you can do this by imaging your feet connected to the earth (or the floor), or imaging an energy connection from the lower part of your body to the earth, or any other 'earthing' or 'grounding' technique that works for you. Then, imagine your energy vibration raised higher/lighter/brighter than the group by a 1/2 step.
3. Different Color/Different Sound
Another way to achieve a sense of individuality or separation within your family dynamics is to notice what color or sound vibration the group emits (people sense energy differently, so go with what works for you). Perhaps your family is a mossy green, or a deep bass vibration. Imagine yourself to be light blue, or high tenor.
4. Alternate Universe
At any moment we can shift the Universe we are in. We exist in a multiverse, with parallel storylines that can be vastly different from each other. If you're existing in one where your family *always* fights at the holidays, there is another one where everyone is happy and loving instead.
As you go to your family gathering you can decide to be heading towards an alternate Universe family.
More on Parallel Universes
5. Different Doors
You can also shift your experience as you're walking up to the house - imagine walking through doorways (ala the beginning of the 1960's Comedy 'Get Smart'). Each doorway shifts you into a different universe and a different state, so that when you walk into the house where everyone is gathered, you've stepped into a group with less drama and more love (or whatever you decide/intend).
This can work *while* you're in the gathering as well. If you can feel the tension rising, excuse yourself and go to the restroom (or the kitchen, or another room), as you step through the actual physical doorways, you can be stepping into a different experience as well.
Sometimes this immediately shifts the drama going on around the dining table (or living room). Sometimes this shifts *your* inner state so you can calmly watch everyone else while not engaging in the drama yourself. More on doors here.
6. Blessing The Space
You can do this before you've even left to go visit your family. Imaging blessing the trip, blessing the event, by bringing gold light down through it (if it's the trip, you can imagine the time line or route you're taking and 'gold light it). You can do the same if you're in the room with your family, imagine gold light coming down through the room, into the floor into the center of the earth.
This creates a calm and safe space for everyone to be in, and can even diffuse the drama before it starts!
Try these techniques and see how different your holidays can be!