Who's Driving The Car? ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb
We all have subpersonalities, and it doesn't mean you're schitzophrenic! What it means is that you have access to all different aspects of yourself, and this can be quite useful when you're conscious of it.
It's when we're unconscious that they can cause problems.
The most obvious subpersonalities are our inner kids. It's as if each age we've ever been is frozen in time within us. At any moment our two year old can come out and disrupt the Monday morning staff meetings (especially if you skipped breakfast to be there)!
We also have subpersonalities for each role we've ever been. When I had a wedding business, it was useful to call upon my minister-officient subpersonality as I was driving to a rehearsal or ceremony; it stepped me into a professional mindset regardless of what else was going on in my life.
If you have a particular part to play in your life and you don't feel you know how to do it, it may be that the "wrong" (=inappropriate) personality is in your driver's seat. When that personality slides over and lets the "right" (=appropriate) one drive, you'll find you have access to the information you need.
Sometimes You need to put the wayward personality in the car seat behind you.
Not all our recalcitrant personalities are kids, however. Sometimes we have bossy adults gripping the wheel when we really need to let our artist out to wander. Bossy adults can be useful when it's time to stop procrastinating and work on the report that's due, but on weekends you need to lock them in the office.
We have an infinite number of personalities available to us, even ones we don't feel like we've accessed before. We may not be as practiced with them, but they are there to be called forth. Perhaps you're in love with 'the One' and your longest relationship was three months. Or your family background was so dysfunctional you have no clue how to make this one work. Take a deep breath, let all those concerns go, and allow the personality that does know how to make love last come up from deep within you.
You may feel a little wobbly and uncertain doing this at first, but trust that you have a wellspring of wisdom that you can tap into at any time. You have an inner Parent subpersonality that can take the wheel whenever you need.
Your inner kids all really want that subpersonality to drive because they can't (or shouldn't). They calm down when it's in the driver's seat.
Play with this for the next seven days. Call in the subpersonalities that you need whenever you need them. And see what happens!