Acceptance Is Not Surrender, Ceding or Giving In

Acceptance Is Not Surrender, Ceding or Giving In ©2016 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

There's a popular prayer that starts by asking for the serenity to accept the things you cannot change.
It's a powerful statement. You are accepting what is, but not agreeing to it.

In accepting the situation, you are acknowledging the reality of it. You are not in denial that it is happening, you are not avoiding the reality. You are actually standing in your own power, while being powerless over other's behavior or external circumstances.

Acceptance allows you to take action, to respond rather than react. You can make better choices when you're not reacting.

Glowing Flower with Sunlight, photo credit: Tbala11

Now, there's also an aspect of Surrender that doesn't mean ceding your power, or giving in. It means you are not resisting the dominating energy. When you resist, you become rigid, you get stuck. You actually attract what you're resisting.  In non-resistance, the negative energy passes through. You can weave around it. It dissipates.

A few years ago I was in a situation that was intolerable. I was powerless over the outcome. I was powerless over other people's behavior.

Others might have said, but you could have talked to them about it. This was your opportunity to speak out.

I did not waste energy fighting it or trying to change them. I placed principles before personalities. I focused on the bigger picture. I remained in integrity with my core values.

I was there to do something no one else could do, I brought my awareness of Consciousness to the situation. What unfolded was greater than what anyone there could acknowledge.

And so it is.

You may be going home for the holidays and dreading becoming enmeshed in the dysfunctional family patterns. You might be avoiding certain relatives because of painful memories.

You could be distracted by the news, by the current insanity in politics. You could be outraged by people's refusal to be involved, or general unconsciousness.

You cannot change, fix, or manipulate the world outside yourself without getting entangled in it. You can detach, by stepping back emotionally.

You can accept that most people aren't operating at optimal awareness. Most people are playing out invisible programming.

When you can see that and not resist it, you reclaim your energy from it.

You start to see the world through a different lens. You might actually be amused by it.

We have been through dark times before. There is too much light in the world nowadays.

The sun is more powerful than the night.

Stand in your own sunlight, shine in your own truth, and see how that transforms your life!

Dissolving Depression

Dissolving Depression ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb

For many people, February is a tough month.  In the northern hemisphere, Winter is dragging on, and the lack of warmth and sunshine has been taking it's toll.  The holidays are over, although Valentine's Day is coming up, which brings up relationship issues.  And many of us are mourning losses.  People seem to pass during the holidays, the "veil" is thinner, we feel and miss our deceased loved ones more.

Depression is a soggy, wet, blanket, blocking our body/personality's awareness and receptivity to Us as Consciousness.  When you are under it, you feel powerless.  People, places, things have more control over your reality than you do.

I struggled with depression from the time I was twelve until I was thirty-five. When I left my first marriage, I was suicidally depressed. As a single parent, I made decisions which resulted in 'staying small' and living in poverty, so I wouldn't tip over the edge.

During those years I tried a number of solutions.  I saw therapists,  I was given antidepressants, I went to support groups, and as an adult I medicated myself with St. John's Wort and Kava Kava.

What created the ultimate turnaround was noticing my thoughts.  I realized that I spent most of my day imaging myself talking to people about how terrible life was.  I started noticing when I was doing it (whenever I was driving, when I'd fall asleep at night) and I would figuratively grab my ears and redirect my thoughts.   I'd reframe it to all the good things that were happening, or set intentions for good things to happen!

It was challenging to do at first, but within two weeks I lifted out of that depression, that I hadn't known I was in, that had been going on for years.

Now, if you are deeply, darkly depressed, don't try to do this on your own.  Reach out, get help.  Depression affects (and is affected by) brain chemistry.  Although positive thinking rewires your brain, creates new neuropathways, you may need medical help to get to the point of treating yourself.

All of this is ground level stuff, body/personality issues.  It's the body/personality that feels depressed.  Consciousness is light.  Consciousness is always joyous.  YOU are Consciousness, therefore your Essential Self is always happy.

Your body/personality is how You experience life here on playground Earth.  When you're too bogged down in the mud, you feel disconnected to the Essence of who you really are.

Body/personalities are happier when You are in the driver's seat.  Meditation helps you clear, anchor and center, but if you're depressed or in emotional pain, it's impossible to sit still and focus.  I found walking and reciting affirmations helpful when I struggling.

Shift your perspective from being the body/personality, where things are happening to you, to being Consciousness, the Creator of your reality.

Notice I said 'creator' not 'controller'.  Controlling your reality implies an outside focus, trying to manipulate, change, or even keep your external reality the same.

We create our reality from within.  Our thoughts create our reality (you can think of them as projections, but I also find them energetic building blocks), but the impulses emanates from within.

Besides consciously changing your thoughts, here's a simple exercise for dissolving depression:
Part 1 is to imagine a Gold Sun above your head, bring it's sunlight into your body and surround yourself in a bubble of gold.  Part 2 is to imagine that same gold energy emanating from within you to outside you. Surround yourself with gold that generates from within.

You can visualize it as the color gold, or feel it as warm sunshine, or imagine it as solar energy to generate your system.

You can play with this in different ways.  You can imagine a gold grid dissolving depression patterns.   You can imagine this gold energy blessing your path.

Try this for the next 7 days and see what happens!

Light in the Darkness

Light in the Darkness ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

The holiday season holds many memories for folks, not all of them warm and cheery.  This time last year I was visiting DC, recording my father's life stories in his final month on hospice.  The year before I was midwifing my mother on her way out of the body.  Ten years ago a loved one was hit by a car, which propelled me through intense grief, as well as intense learning about the reality of life beyond death.

My own storyline has had bleak chapters for this time of year.  Times, as a single parent so poverty stricken that my kids only gifts came from the food bank.  Or when a loved one suffering from an illness went missing for 3 days the week before Christmas.

As we (in the Northern Hemisphere) are heading towards the shortest day of the year, it's helpful to remember that there is always light in the darkness.  Even in the darkest night, the sun is still shining somewhere.

Things seem dark and painful when we view them as our body-personalities.  As a body-personality, I lost both parents last year (and a dog, and a house).  As a body-personality, I had stories of being poor, frightened, or abandoned.  When I step back and see things as Consciousness, it's an entirely different experience.

I midwifed both parents out of body last year.  I held space for the two beings, who played the roles of my parents, to transition back to Spirit.  I also held space for my dog to do so (as I have for many pets in the past).  I released my house on Vashon to step into new opportunities in a new city.  As Consciousness, joyous and unlimited, I've created experiences of contraction and expansion.

I can assure my body that we've lived through these things, that we know how to get through anything that may come up.  I can comfort my body by appreciating how great things are now and realizing that 'it does get better'.  Our house in Tacoma is twice as big (and half as expensive) as the one on Vashon.  My parents are still here, I feel them rather than see them, they're easier to access than when they were in body.  All our pets still exist, too, young and energetic and happy with no litter boxes to clean or poop to scoop!

It's my purpose as a Being of Light, as a natural Lightbringer, to shine light in the darkness.  It illuminates the shadows so we can them.  Light is always accessible, whether we can feel it or not.  

So if you're feeling bogged down, breathe deep and feel Consciousness within you and around you.  Mentally step up and out of the morphic field of doom and gloom.  Imagine stepping through the door where things are lighter and brighter.  Anything and everything you need is available to you.  Allow the energy of it, love, prosperity, warm, plenty, to surround you and infuse you.

Do this continually for the next 7 days and it will transform your life!

How To Hold Your Own During The Holidays

How To Hold Your Own During The Holidays ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

It's that time of year again. We're heading into the time of family gatherings. We're being inundated with ads, movies, and shop windows filled with gifts and expectations.

When you visit with relatives, everyone reverts to old behavior patterns. No matter how much therapy you've had, it's hard not to fall into the familiar scripts.  How do you not match the prevalent energy level? 

Perhaps you don't have family and are happily on your own. How do you convince well-meaning observers that you're a healthy, well-adjusted person who happens to be spouse-and-child-free?

How do you hold your own during the holidays? 

We cover a lot of these issues on our November 5th radio show including some helpful Consciousness tools.  I thought I'd add a couple more here.

The Bug-Zapper:  Imagine yourself surrounded by iridescent blue light, just like those electronic devices that hang outside your back door, keeping flying insects from entering the house.  Any negative thoughts or projections that come at you from the outside gets instantly zapped.  However, it also neutralizes any negative thoughts or projections from *inside* as well!  I used this at a wedding last year and it felt wonderful!!

Different Colors: When you walk into a home or a party you can feel the prevalent energy of the place.  One way to not be either raised up to their level of frenzy or brought down to their level of gloom, is to be a 1/2 above the energy.  Imagine what that vibration would be if it were a color (some people hear or feel it) and let yourself be a half step lighter.  You won't be too out of sync, but enough to keep your own sense of self!

Doorways and Portals: Every door or archway can step you into a different Universe, as effortlessly as stepping into different movies at a multiplex or different soundstages in Hollywood.  Just by getting up to go to the restroom, you shifted realities in several ways.  By the time you return you can be in an entirely different scenario!  Your family still looks the same, but the atmosphere can be completely different.

All of these tools work best when done playfully, from a space of amusement and fun.  Try these out and see what happens!