Hover Above The Holidays

Hover Above The Holidays ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

We in a potentially contentious holiday season, with things seeming more inflammatory than usual. What’s the best way to get through them without napalming bridges between family and friends?

When you find yourself at the dinner table with racist and sexist remarks flying, I invite you to take a mental step back and shift your perspective.

You don’t necessarily have to leave the room (although I’ll share a useful technique later that uses that action). Just imagine hovering above the table, like you’re watching a movie.

Because in reality, you *are* watching a movie. When people go unconscious, as they do at the holidays, they start spouting lines and playing roles that don’t reflect who they really are as Essence. You’ll see the worst of Uncle Kevin or your sister, because they’re as triggered as you are in family settings at the holiday. They’re just most used to operating without awareness than you are. (I’m presuming, since you’re reading this).

You are Consciousness, experiencing life in a physical form that has emotions and feels sensations. You are bigger than the story that is happening at the moment.

Your relatives that proudly trace their lineage to Robert E. Lee and spout Faux News headlines, are also Consciousness. As entangled in the story as they seem, they’re more than the characters they’re playing.

Hovering above allows you to detach from the intensity of the scenario. It helps you be able to respond rather than react. You may even discover your heart opening, and find these nut jobs endearing.

When you’re not engaged in reality as it seems to be, you get to experience reality as it really is. You may find yourself having deep insights and revelations, when you’re viewing things from a higher perspective.

Now if the festivities get too much to handle and you want to leave way earlier than it would b socially acceptable to do so (and this works even if you’ve just gotten out of your car and haven’t even gone into the house or restaurant yet), you can play a little game I call Parallel Universes.

As Consciousness, we’re experiencing reality on a multitude of levels, and we’re actually experiencing all possibilities at once. It’s just our body-personalities that feel like they’re going along a linear timeline and being in only one version of reality with a set script and inevitable outcome.

As Consciousness you can shift your storyline by stepping through invisible doors to different ones. Now you aren’t going to step through an invisible door and teleport to a white sand beach in Thailand. But you can step into a different version of a family gathering.

So if it’s about to be World War III at your dinner table, you can get up to go to the restroom or the kitchen and imagine stepping through invisible doors where it’s unfolding differently, where it’s al harmony and love (some open ended intention). Leaving the room you’re actually passing through a portal anyway - every door and archway can be one. And when you walk back in you may find a reality where people are getting along.

This also works if you haven’t even gone into the gathering yet. Stepping through invisible doors from your car to the front door, you can shift being in a different storyline altogether. You can discover an Uncle Kevin (or sister) who’s newly in recovery and not drinking, for instance.

It doesn’t work if you set a specific intention like, they’re not drinking or they’re not racisit anymore because that’s coming from your personality that wants to control. When you step through doors with open ended intentions what results is something your mind can’t preconceive. It’s beyond your wildest imagination.

Go into the holidays with a sense of playful curiosity, what will happen if I do this? I wonder what will it be like if I hover above?

Play with this, and let me know what happens!

Freedom From Want

Freedom From Want ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb,

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, the start of a month's worth of expectations. That family and friends should be gathering, that there should be an abundance of food and gifts. That everyone is supposed to be warm and loving to each other.

Freedom From Want by Norman Rockwell

My family of origin lived up to those expectations for the first fifteen years of my life, until the patterns started to break down. And we had pretty high expectations. My great-uncle Jim McCabe is in the iconic Norman Rockwell painting.

My early memories are of grand holiday meals, although we lived overseas most of those years so sometimes we had goose instead of turkey.

The family started shattering when I was sixteen, and I maybe initiated, contributed or reflected that shattering... I was hospitalized for depression in an adolescent ward of a mental hospital during the holidays that year.

The next year, I just remembered, I had Thanksgiving with my great-uncle's family in Connecticut (after visiting him in Vermont). I was in college and my parents were in Sweden. My father left my mother shortly afterwards; I really don't remember any Thanksgivings with them after that.

As an adult I tried gamely to create holiday meals like the ones I'd had in my early childhood. But the family I created broke apart when my kids were little. Since their father was a gourmet chef and I had never cooked a turkey, I wrote it into the parenting plan that they spent every "big meal" day with him. I had no idea that it set me up to be alone for all those holidays.

At some point my kids learned from their cousins that they got two Thanksgivings. The cousins would see both sets of parents on the same day. Since my culinary skills couldn't match their father's, I had our Thanksgiving meal the Sunday before, which both spared it the competition and meant they'd eaten my leftovers before they went to their dad's for the remaining part of the week.

Every Thanksgiving for years, I was always scrambling to be "adopted" somewhere to eat with other people. It was always a painful and lonely time.

When I remarried, our first Thanksgiving together, my mother in law was insulted because I had my husband and her work on the turkey. After that, we'd go out for Chinese food instead.

When you look at Thanksgiving from the perspective of Consciousness, you see the tangles of expectations and dysfunctional patterns that actually create separation and lack.

You can be with family and a lot of food, and if it's filled with assumptions and craziness, you will feel far removed from any sense of connection and abundance.

Thanksgiving isn't about the big meal. It isn't about the gathering of family and friends. It isn't even necessarily about gratitude. As Consciousness, it's about appreciation.

Appreciation is the neutral form gratitude, because it's coming from the creator sense rather than the recipient. As we exist as Consciousness and in body, we can experience both, but it's important to note the difference. Gratitude implies thankfulness for or from something outside of yourself. Appreciation acknowledges and enjoys the creation. Which can even be the creation of chaos and discord.

When you shift your perspective from your body/personality self, to you as Consciousness, you know you already have all that you desire.

As Consciousness there is no separation. You are always connected, even with loved ones who have passed. As Consciousness there is no lack, because Consciousness is the Source of all creation. As Consciousness there is no discord, because Consciousness is essentially love.

This year, my husband and I are at that mid point, where our parents are passed, and our adult children don't yet have offspring of their own. One son is in Spain; we won't see him until Easter. Another is on Vashon, with his Dad. We'll do our meal on Sunday (I now cook salmon instead).

I'm appreciative that I have good relationships with both my kids and my husband. I get to create new patterns rather than passing on historical ones.

This holiday season, when you feel yourself entangled in the insanity, take a moment to shift your perspective (this might require stepping out of the room). View it all from Consciousness, appreciate this playground of a planet, and notice how your reality transforms!

Mystic Minute: The Truth About Soul Mates

God Has No Personality and What Pain Has To Do With It.

God Has No Personality ©2015 Joan M Newcomb

I try to talk about spiritual subjects without using religious references.  I even try not to use the word spiritual. I've been talking a lot about Consciousness lately because, to me, it's a more accurate description of who we are, both individually and collectively.

I was raised in a religious family. We said prayers at every meal, at bedtime, and went to Church every Sunday. For my mother it was an internal experience, and she lived her faith. My father did his best to show our religion externally.

"God" by Moyan Brenn on Flickr

My own definition of God went through many incarnations, peeling away the layers to what Essence felt like.  My biggest stumbling block was the Christian 'God The Father' which, in my experience was not compassionate nor benevolent. My biggest breakthrough was calling it Universe. My prayers were conversations while driving.  I always began with 'hey, U'!

For years I'd also journal my conversations, writing my questions and then scribing what I perceived was the response.  The replies weren't verbal, but more impressions. It was frustrating because I'd list all my complaints and the answers would be very benign. I realized that my grievances were like standing in front of a tree with my face pressed into the bark, and God was showing me a forest, with many pathways.

At some point, the Universe itself became a feeling, an impression. When I shifted my attention, the world around me changed. Colors became brighter, everything came into sharp focus.

There's been several spiritual awakenings, when I'd be enveloped in Love. In Love with the Universe, with my life, with myself. I'd still have the same problems, but I knew all would be very, very well. No matter what drama was going on, I remain centered. The longest this lasted was for nine months.  It would be wonderful to tip over into it again permanently.

One time I was struggling, and resisting the concept of an external God. After all, I AM Spirit, I AM my Inner Being. The answer came to me that it doesn't matter how you interact with the Divine. You can have God the Father, God the Authority, God outside of yourself, God inside, many Gods, and no God/s at all. It's all go(o)d.

So now I dance with Consciousness. With the awareness of my Self as Consciousness, knowing this is all a creation of Consciousness.  And this morning, my journaling started to veer off into personality level narrative. Painful emotions arose.  I shifted my perspective, and felt Consciousness flow through my body. Pain dissipated.

This stayed with me as I walked my dog. What I noticed was an impassive appreciation for the world.  We created this reality to experience the opposite of who we really are. Emotions are part of that experience. Bodies are our vehicles to feeling this reality. Personality is what we create in order to be visible to others and distinguishable by others.

If it has emotions and a personality, it's a physical level projection.

Consciousness has no personality. Consciousness feels immense, and clear. The body delights in Consciousness, there's an absence of pain when fully embodied. And yet pain comes up in the process of embodiment. As we come into form, we feel more. When you shine more light into a place, it reveals emotions and physical sensations. I am now finding that pain disappears when fully Conscious.

What does pain have to do with it? Pain makes the body feel real. Pain is a physical reaction. We've used pain to anchor us here. Pain is a reminder to focus within. When your fully focused within, pain goes away. Or, your definition of pain shifts, and it doesn't feel painful, or bother you any more.  It's not denying, resisting, or ignoring it. It's bringing full awareness to it.

Becoming fully conscious requires anchoring into the body. You miss the point of being here by leaving the body or going outside it in order to be more spiritual. You're already Spirit, you don't need to be more so. You just need to be more here.

You can get there by focusing inward, by connecting to to 'anchor points' within form. You can anchor in the lower abdomen. You can anchor in your solar plexus. You can anchor deep into your heart. You can anchor in the center of your brain. You will find, as you bring your full attention into any or all of these places, that it's quite spacious inside you. These anchor points aren't fixed, they go on and on, deeper and deeper. You are still here, and also there.

Play with all of this for the next 7 days and see what happens!

Relaxing Into Discomfort

Relaxing Into Discomfort (c)2015 Joan M. Newcomb

I'm in Germany, and it's been one roller coaster ride since we got here.  There were 32mph winds when we landed (which should have been a clue for the rest of the trip).

We came from Madrid, where it was nearly 80 degrees, and in Germany it was in the 30s.  We've been rained on, lightening'd over and pelted with hail pellets.  Our artist's apartment in Madrid was warm and inviting.  Our flat in Kreuzberg is a flophouse for grunge-rebels.

Madrid is no problema friendly.  Germany is nicht so.

It is hard to stay Conscious in discomfort. My body contracts in the cold.  It feels similar to being in poverty, or ill. 

I'm distributing my mother's ashes to the places where we lived. To get down to Zehlendorf, we encountered closed stations in the Reichstag, a change of trains on the U3, and then an Erzatz U3 bus because there'd been 'a fire on the line'.  

At some point, I realized I'd just relaxed into the discomfort. A girl who looked like Tin Tin appeared to help us when passengers were being told to leave the train.  It had thundered and hailed over the Reichstag, and it was sunny and almost warm in Zehlendorf.

Zehlendorf's brick-cobbled streets were strewn with tree limbs, from the windstorm the night before.  Many of the houses were unchanged from when my family had lived there during the Cold War.

The more I relaxed, the more Dorothy showed up.  That's not true, she'd been present the whole way (we'd walked on Dorothenstrasse at the start of our trip, and "DB" - for DeutschesBahn, is also my nickname for her).  Little purple flowers appeared.  The first house had whimsical tiles - probably not original, but the kind of thing that would make her giggle.  And the pub on the corner had a -probably original - Berliner Kindl sign (she had a large collection of mugs and glasses, mostly likely from there).

We left a dusting of her at each place, and returned to Kreuzberg where we were rained and hailed on.

The next morning we took my husband to the Krankhaus, which is such a good name for the place.  I got to practice relaxing into discomfort with rude admins and raving admitteds. Nobody feels like they've chosen to be sick on vacation and certainly nobody likes to go to hospital. But I have a traumatic reaction to them after sleeping beside Dorothy for 18 days when she fell and broke her pelvis and then got diagnosed with cancer.

Meanwhile, my 24 year old son is having the time of his life with the night scene in Kreutzberg, German beer and Currywurst. He does not mind the discomfort of the weather, or at least does not let that stop him from fully enjoying his Berlin holiday.

He is symbolic of the next generation moving forward without the restrictions of the past. My husband, currently, is symbolic of those of us releasing those painful patterns.

Tonight we leave, my son returning home to Madrid, my husband and I going on to London. Perhaps this whole ordeal was to make the next phase of my journey seem easier. London will now feel warm (it's in the mid-50s there).  We'll be used to trains and undergrounds.  And we'll really appreciate knowing the language!

Tomorrow's a major eclipse, which closes one door and opens another.  It's a time of sudden, unexpected changes.

What do you need to relax into? What are you resisting (that needs releasing)?

Breathe into it.  This too shall pass.  It is taking you to a new level of Expanded Consciousness.  And, it will get better!

My Valentine's to U(niverse)

My Valentine's to U(niverse) ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb

Nothing like writing an article about Valentine's day on Friday the 13th...
When I was trying to come up with a catchy title for this article, I thought about doing an anagram on the word love. Evol sounds more like 'evil' than evolve.  It just goes to show that this is a planet of dichotomies.  The physical realm is the opposite of who we really are as Consciousness.  Or is it?

I've written a fair amount on Love, and just did a great Conscious Conversations radio show on the topic. I've experienced falling in love, being in love, loving pets, people, places and things, Love directly with Source.

I think the first time I fully felt the impact of unconditional Love with another human being was when I looked into the eyes of my newborn son. It was a being-to-being opening to something greater in the Universe. Just thinking about that moments shifts me to that infinite connection.

Universal Love

What I notice, when dropping down into that heart connection, is that the world becomes brighter and more clearly in-focus. I truly sense the essential life connection in every surrounding atom and molecule.

As I write about this now, it reminds me of when my mother died. The world became brighter in that same way, as if her life-essence had directly transferred into all the surrounding atoms and molecules.

I know that this world is created from Love, that Consciousness *is* Love, and that is the essential energy behind all of manifestation. I just never realized the link between these experiences, my first direct experience of birth and my first direct experience of death, and Love.

Now, my relationship with my firstborn hasn't been all hearts and flowers. There have been some extremely painful challenges. I had dysfunctional family patterns come up and at times I was a terrible parent. There are things I'll be making amends to him for the rest of our lives. And, there is, inside, a deep, intense, ever-lasting and unconditional Love for this kid (for both my kids), that is the being-to-being connection that transcends the storyline and personalities involved.

Similarly, my relationship with my mother wasn't perfect, although I never resented her not protecting me or not being stronger. The last two years of her life, caretaking her as she had Alzheimer's and cancer, was incredibly difficult.  It aged me physically, took it's toll on my business, and contributed to losing my house. And, the bigger and more important thing, it was an act of Love to midwife her back to Spirit.

With both my kids, I noticed a buildup of Love just prior to their conception.  It was the Being coming into focus in preparation to incarnate into form.

Consciousness *is* Love.  You, as Essence, *are* Consciousness.  YOU are Love.  No matter what is going on in the story of your life, You are Love.  The lifeforce energy that creates and inhabits all matter, is Love.

Imagine bringing your full force of Awareness into your form, imagine your energy coming back from all areas of attention, past, future, all dimensions.Then, from within your space, imagine you radiating Love outwards.

Spend Valentine's Day weekend emanating Love.  Any areas you feel are lacking, imbue them with Love.

Try this for the next 7 days and see how your life unfolds!

Dissolving Depression

Dissolving Depression ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb

For many people, February is a tough month.  In the northern hemisphere, Winter is dragging on, and the lack of warmth and sunshine has been taking it's toll.  The holidays are over, although Valentine's Day is coming up, which brings up relationship issues.  And many of us are mourning losses.  People seem to pass during the holidays, the "veil" is thinner, we feel and miss our deceased loved ones more.

Depression is a soggy, wet, blanket, blocking our body/personality's awareness and receptivity to Us as Consciousness.  When you are under it, you feel powerless.  People, places, things have more control over your reality than you do.

I struggled with depression from the time I was twelve until I was thirty-five. When I left my first marriage, I was suicidally depressed. As a single parent, I made decisions which resulted in 'staying small' and living in poverty, so I wouldn't tip over the edge.

During those years I tried a number of solutions.  I saw therapists,  I was given antidepressants, I went to support groups, and as an adult I medicated myself with St. John's Wort and Kava Kava.

What created the ultimate turnaround was noticing my thoughts.  I realized that I spent most of my day imaging myself talking to people about how terrible life was.  I started noticing when I was doing it (whenever I was driving, when I'd fall asleep at night) and I would figuratively grab my ears and redirect my thoughts.   I'd reframe it to all the good things that were happening, or set intentions for good things to happen!

It was challenging to do at first, but within two weeks I lifted out of that depression, that I hadn't known I was in, that had been going on for years.

Now, if you are deeply, darkly depressed, don't try to do this on your own.  Reach out, get help.  Depression affects (and is affected by) brain chemistry.  Although positive thinking rewires your brain, creates new neuropathways, you may need medical help to get to the point of treating yourself.

All of this is ground level stuff, body/personality issues.  It's the body/personality that feels depressed.  Consciousness is light.  Consciousness is always joyous.  YOU are Consciousness, therefore your Essential Self is always happy.

Your body/personality is how You experience life here on playground Earth.  When you're too bogged down in the mud, you feel disconnected to the Essence of who you really are.

Body/personalities are happier when You are in the driver's seat.  Meditation helps you clear, anchor and center, but if you're depressed or in emotional pain, it's impossible to sit still and focus.  I found walking and reciting affirmations helpful when I struggling.

Shift your perspective from being the body/personality, where things are happening to you, to being Consciousness, the Creator of your reality.

Notice I said 'creator' not 'controller'.  Controlling your reality implies an outside focus, trying to manipulate, change, or even keep your external reality the same.

We create our reality from within.  Our thoughts create our reality (you can think of them as projections, but I also find them energetic building blocks), but the impulses emanates from within.

Besides consciously changing your thoughts, here's a simple exercise for dissolving depression:
Part 1 is to imagine a Gold Sun above your head, bring it's sunlight into your body and surround yourself in a bubble of gold.  Part 2 is to imagine that same gold energy emanating from within you to outside you. Surround yourself with gold that generates from within.

You can visualize it as the color gold, or feel it as warm sunshine, or imagine it as solar energy to generate your system.

You can play with this in different ways.  You can imagine a gold grid dissolving depression patterns.   You can imagine this gold energy blessing your path.

Try this for the next 7 days and see what happens!

Pattern Disruptors - Stop Painful Interactions NOW!

Pattern Disruptors - Stop Painful Interactions NOW! ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb

We made it through the holidays, but this year has been a doozy so far.  We've stepped up to a new evolution of Consciousness and all sorts of things are coming out of the woodwork.  When you're vibrating at a higher level, things that are dense get dislodged.

It may feel like your foundation is being rocked, or the mortar holding your life together has come loose.  Things that were your anchor points have gone, your own identity may seem to be dissipating.

Circumstances may seem to be creating these changes.  Your relationship, job or home situations may be falling apart (or coming together).  But in reality it's You, your Inner Being, that is shining a brighter light, and everything else is reacting, a ripple effect emanating from You.

What this means is, you can no longer interact with others in the same way.  They may seem to be carrying on things learned from family, but you cannot respond from old expectations.  And yet, when you speak up, stand in your truth, all hell breaks loose.

A while back I wrote about the Bug Zapper technique for keeping your space clear around others.  It's especially useful in situations like weddings, family reunions, any time you are around groups of people where you (or they) may be triggered.  The Bug Zapper eliminates projections coming towards you, but also disintegrates projections coming from you as well.

This is a variation of that technique, but you start with creating a single laser beam, representing one thread of a pattern.  Have it out in front of you, or - if you're feeling the effects of the pattern in a particular place, inside of you at that spot.   And allow it to vibrate.

When I did this recently, I noticed one family member who was carrying on the legacy.  The laser beam initially seemed like a lightning bolt, not meant to zap them, but to zap the pattern.  The threads of connection disappeared and we both looked lighter.

You don't have to know what the pattern is - in fact, it may be more useful not to know, as it opens more possiblities when it's not defined.  You can also use multiple threads; they look like a grid.  You can pass the grid through your energy space, or use it in front of you or to one of the sides.

When I did this, I noticed the energy shifting with someone I care about, and fortunately in a way that eased the matching pain we're experiencing.

This is something you can play with in meditation or when going to sleep at night.  It's helpful to be intuitive and playful about it, not to think too hard.  Be open minded and notice what is different.

As you do this is that your interactions with people get easier.  Situations you may have thought were impossible to change naturally unfolds.  You're not out there doing anything, manipulating circumstances, you're just focusing on vibrating threads.

And, these threads and grids can shrink down to the size of microchips, you can allow them to work within your space without giving a whole lot of attention to them.  Your energy increases, your sense of wellbeing expands.

You are Consciousness and playing with energy this was is how you navigate your life *as* Consciousness!

For more tips, tools & techniques (as well as coaching and classes) on how to navigate with Consciousness, go here!

Try this for the next week and see what happens!

Involution and Evolution

Involution and Evolution (c)2015 Joan M Newcomb

What direction are you headed? Are you looking for answers? Trying to get spiritual?
Do you feel like the answers are "out there"? That to access Consciousness, you have to go Up?
Do you need to accelerate, or try harder, to become more aware?

It's popular to say we are in the midst of an evolution of Consciousness, but in actuality it may be an involution of Consciousness.

Bodies evolve (I personally believe that dinosaurs were 'beta tests').  Physical bodies are vehicles for Consciousness. Human bodies have evolved over time, to be able to handle more of the higher vibration of Consciousness.

The denser the body, the more distant it feels from Consciousness.


Consciousness has been described as God, but even that is a disconnected view point.

Imagine yourself as Consciousness.  You create this planet of form, with your own focus.  You are life force, and your energy focuses into everything.

Every thousand years or so, your human body creations go through a growth spurt, and you're able to feel through them a bit more.

Three thousand years ago they perceived you as far away, and projected their fears and vengefulness at you.  Two thousand years ago there was a 'consciousness shift' that, from their perception, brought you closer.  You became a parental figure.

There's been another shift, and they're able to feel you within.  It's blowing their minds.

For you, it's a not exactly a coming inward, but a more focused concentration. 

In body, it feels like being enveloped in love.  Make that Love, with a capital L.  The body tingles.  Pain disappears.  It feels expansive.  It feels incredibly clear.  There's incredible gratitude, incredible appreciation, and an inner sense of Knowing.

How do you get there? How do you feel this more?

It's all about navigation.  If it feels negative or limiting, it's turning away.  If it feels joyous or expansive, it's turning towards.  Yet sometimes, body/personality has been hunched down for so long, it feels fearful about standing up, opening up.  Sometimes it's about breaking through, or breaking open.

It's more than just choosing your thoughts or redirecting your thinking. 

It's a simple as imagining.  Imagining You are Consciousness, focusing inward.  Uncomfortable thoughts or feelings come up, turn your full focus as Consciousness upon them.  Light dissolves shadow.

It takes practice, but it doesn't take very long. 

Take time every day to do this, be mindful of this throughout the day, and you will very shortly be transformed beyond your wildest dreams!

Your Life Vision and Purpose

Your Life Vision and Purpose

Do you know who You are and why you are here?  Do you have a clear picture of what you want in life, or are you too embroiled in chaos, or just crawling out of the craziness?

Maybe you used to know, when you were younger, before marriage, before kids, before the reality of working for a roof over your head?

The yearning never goes away, Source is always calling You.

Sometimes you may think that it has to be hard, or that you haven't a clue, when it's right in front of you the whole time.

Sometimes Vision starts with a feeling.

It feels right.  It feels clear.  It feels as if you were born to do it.

Often, it's something you were inherently drawn to from a young age.  Maybe you gave it up because it seemed too frivolous.

Maybe you stopped doing it because the expression of it was distorted.

Purpose is really basic.  You are here to create.  You are here to give.  You are here to express YourSelf.  Maybe you create beauty.  Maybe you create environments.  Maybe you create music.

Whatever it is, you give to the world, you enhance everyone's experience by it.

To get to awareness of your purpose, you have to have other bases covered first.  You can't be running away, and be in touch with Source.  You can't be fearful and expressing Your true Essence.

When you're preoccupied with compulsive behaviours it's hard to have a vision, beyond basic needs. Even if you think you know your purpose, you're just spinning your wheels.

After you've taken your focus off outside things, you regain access to your inherent wisdom.  It's not out there.  It's in you.

Achieving your vision takes baby steps, even micro-actions.  Take the first steps, and the Universe quantum leaps You.

Plexiglas Walls

Plexiglas Walls ©2014 Joan M Newcomb

Have you ever found yourself blocked from moving forward?  There's no obvious reason for it.  It's like bumping up against a Plexiglas wall.

Perhaps it's something you've tried to attain again and again, and you just can't get past the invisible barrier.  There's no external barrier that you can see.

Even though you may make up stories about the first, second, or third time your face hits this wall, inwardly you wonder what is wrong with you.

Our reality is made up of pictures, impressions we've received (and created) from the moment we pop out of the womb.  Actually, the moment we pop *into* the womb - we absorb these impressions in utero as well.

We're veritable picture galleries of impressions.  And as long as we're within our families or culture, we're amongst others who have the same pictures.  They're agreed-upon images, so they seem real.

When we step outside our matching pictures, we experience discomfort.  Moving to another country, going away to college, getting married, all expose us to different collective pictures.  We can either expand our Universe by moving beyond our limited gallery, or we can get solidified and stuck.

It's why people get upset with others who are different.  We don't want our world to include those who don't have our same pictures.  Make those people go away!

Life is growth.  When we stop growing, we die.  Body/personalities think it's the other way around - we feel threatened when we have to expand.  We think there's nothing beyond our limitations.  But it's a whole new world out there, baby!

Back to Plexiglas's Walls.  They are pictures we haven't recognized as pictures, yet.  They are family or cultural programming, initially given to protect, perhaps, but now control your reality.

How do you get past something that's invisible?  How do you break through something that feels so solid?

Charging headlong into it doesn't work.  Sitting down and moping doesn't either.  Years of psychotherapy can completely elude them. People can't rescue you from your own pictures.

You have to bypass the conscious mind, since that's the curator of your gallery.  Energy work can be helpful as long as you don't get entangled in effort.

Something to playfully try - imagine blowing bubbles.  Each bubble represents a picture in your wall.  You don't have to know what it is, just imagine the bubbles streaming out or floating up and popping.  Do that on a daily basis, or whenever it occurs to you, and you will see change.

You can sit quietly with your eyes closed and visualize yourself walking up to the Plexiglas wall, reaching out and touching it, and have it become gelatinous or made up of bubbles, and gently move through to the other side.

Be gentle with yourself while doing this work, you are transforming your Universe!

Try this for a week and see what happens!

Why Fight With Patterns?

Why Fight With Patterns? ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

One of the things I noticed when my parents were dying is their patterns unravelling. We each are a tapestry of patterns, a lifetime of accumulated energies.

When we pass, they drop, like clothing without a body. When you're with someone who is passing, your own patterns light up. You either fight tooth and nail for their validity, or you can allow yours to drop as well. The latter is not so easily done, as there are others within your life weaving who are invested in the reality of these patterns.

Since my last parent died, there's been quite a residue of "stuff".  I've chosen to shine light on it, to speak up and to question it, which has caused a discordant ripple in the combined family fabric.

Heck, anything that doesn't agree with the current vibration is going to appear inharmonious. Really, it's a pattern that's come to the surface because it is dissolving.

Why fight with it? Why not step back and let it dissipate? Because to remain silent is, in a way, to agree with it. Because part of the pattern is secrecy and complacency.

Keeping one's mouth shut is part of the pattern. Staying quiet means allowing it to stay within you. And I'm not carrying this forward.

Yet the opportunity is to rise above it, to look down on it from the clouds, so that everyone involved look like ants. From an airplane, do you really feel that engaged with traffic jams below?

If I really let go of the pattern(s) within me, would everyone else behave differently?  There wouldn't be anything to reflect.

If I really let go of the patterns myself, everyone could behave as crazily as they already are behaving, but it wouldn't make me insane as well.

What's crazy is to expect others to behave differently.  We can only change ourselves.

How do you change yourself, when these patterns are so ingrained that they are invisible to you.  They are an accepted part of your family reality.

It's easiest to work on a symbolic level.  You can see it as an image, hear it as a sound, feel it as a vibration.  Imagine yourself, and see the design separate from your energy space.  Or, hear your own note or melody, and mute the disharmonious notes.  Let your vibration be high, light and bright, and what feels 'off' drains out of you into the earth.

Work on a quantum consciousness level, step to one side, into a Universe where that pattern doesn't exist, you never had it, you never will.  Turn and shift in your new space, this will often change the entire cast of characters as well.

Play with this for the next 7 days and see what happens!

Truth, Toxic Patterns, and Train Wrecks

Truth, Toxic Patterns, and Train Wrecks ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

Some say we can never go home again.  But we can always revisit old, familiar situations.  The challenge is to dip down into the pattern, and come back up again without getting entangled!

It helps to remember that they're just energy.  It's when we believe that they're real we get stuck in them. 

Here's what I'm remembering, from my most recent 'dip down':

A couple of decades ago I was involved with a cocaine addict.  I started going to Al-Anon, and a year later the addict quit using and went into recovery.  Then I discovered addiction showing up in my work place, and then my church at the time.  Sometimes I'd realize I was in a toxic situation by my reaction to it, the alcoholic or addict not becoming evident until later.

I learned that it wasn't the person who was addicted, but the energy patterns that I was responding to.  

One thing I learned was that often the addict seems fine, but people around them are bouncing off the walls and foaming at the mouth.  It's because the people around them are experiencing the painful situation unmedicated.

People who grow up in alcoholic households can become extremely controlling, because they're trying to make their environment safe (having grown up in out-of-control homes).  Or people who grow up in addictive households will act like alcoholics without actually being chemically dependent.  

It's different when you've come from an abusive background.  You can have a parent who is alcoholic and yet know that they love you.  Your parent (or partner) can be an addict, but they don't verbally or physically abuse you.  It still messes with your head, because their focus is going towards their drug of choice.  You're not receiving their full attention, or you feel crazy from their lies.

Abusers are a different story.  They make you feel like it's your fault they're abusing you  Alcoholics at least can hit bottom and recover and make amends.  Abusers hardly ever recover, they feel entitled to treat their partners and children the way they do.  

When an abuser leaves, they set up a pre-emptive strike, they make themselves the victim.

It's especially crazy-making when they go on to reinvent themselves as the most wonderful and loving person in the world - and that new world believes them.  The abuse continues by treating the previous family members with contempt, as second class citizens, the new partner unwittingly enables the abuser by believing their version of history.

It's different than when an alcoholic recovers and goes on to live a life of sobriety.  They can become the most wonderful and loving person in the world, but they acknowledge their past, have made amends.  (And, admittedly, there are alcoholics that haven't made amends, so their new life isn't emotionally or mentally clean and sober).

How the hell do you recover from all of that?

It takes a lot of light.

Distance helps.  Detachment helps. Recovery helps.  Therapy helps.  Spiritual practice helps.  Speaking your truth, standing in your own light.

I've been out of active alcoholic patterns for a lot of years.  I've been away from abusers (and narcissists, while we're at it), for years as well.  I've been focusing on my own path, on the leading edge of Consciousness, evolving, shining light.

Of course, as you grow, move forward, you uncover new layers of things.  When you're remodeling your spiritual house, you'll find stuff within the walls, even the structure, that require updating.

You create opportunities to clear, you step yourself into experiences to illuminate what needs to change.

I remember when I took a strong step away from the pattern of alcoholism, and this was after a decade of Al-Anon, I had an amazing Spiritual Awakening.  I felt in Love with God, in Love with my life, and in Love with myself (in that order).  Even though I still had the same challenges with being a single parent and keeping a roof over our heads, I was in this highly conscious state, able to come back to center.

This feeling recurred a few years later, when I identified a new issue, stepping away from a new addictive pattern. This time I was in Love with mySelf, in Love with my life, and in Love with God (in that order).  

So.  Something new is happening, I haven't fully identified it.  I could say that I'm moving to 4D, but in reality we are all already there.  

I think we've all shifted to a new level of Consciousness, we're all running a higher vibration, and what doesn't match that vibration in our bodies or our lives is disintegrating. 

An opportunity to live more in integrity with our values?

As we're at this higher vibration, we may dip down into older patterns, but it's not useful to wrestle with them.  Shine light on them.  Speak your Truth and step back.  Be in your own authority and seniority.  

Wave bye-bye to the chunks of patterns as they fall away.  Stand in your own Light (it feels better there, anyway).  

Domino Detox

Domino Detox ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

When I was going through Clairvoyant training in my early 20's, I de-energized a level of family patterns.   I was aware of stepping outside of family dynamics.  It was as if one had removed a tile from a row of dominos.

Over the years, I've encountered deeper levels of patterns to unravel and remove.  Getting married, having kids, getting divorced, being single for some time, getting remarried, kids going to college, leaving home, parents aging and dying, all bring opportunities for continued clearing.

You or your parents getting married introduces you to a whole other family's dynamics as well, which can be very interesting.  Where do you fit within their patterns?  (Where do they fit you)?

Families have different roles.  If someone steps out of their place in the pattern and you're the new in-law, you can get put there (with your conscious or unconscious agreement).

It's most amusing when you're replacing their resident scapegoat or black sheep, or rescuer or saint.  Don't take it personally, it's just their projection.

Such patterns can be hard to detach from, if you're in the midst of them.  If you're intuitive or sensitive, you can feel a little nutty when they're inside your head or in your space.

How can you regain your sense of self at such times?  Take a sanity break.

Sanity breaks can look like - a quick trip to Starbucks, a nap, coffee with friends, a twelve step meeting, a run around the park, an afternoon at the library.  Anything that steps you outside the hologram or soundstage,  gives you a little breathing room.

Patterns can feel so real when you're in the midst of them.  They're in visible, yet tangible.

How do you go back into the environment yet maintain your sense of self?

View everything as if it's a movie (which is it).  Don't react (which is unconscious) but choose your actions.  Be amused.

Be at a higher vibration than your environment.  Imagine yourself in a bubble of gold energy.

Be non-resistant.  Imagine yourself transparent, or wearing an invisibility cloak; negative energy moves through you.

Focus on changing yourself, not others.  Simple energetic shifts can change the atmosphere and everyone in it.

These suggestions work at home *and* at the office (as people bring their family patterns to work with them).  Try any or all of these for a week and see what happens!