Grief and Loss

Grief and Loss ©2021 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

When I entered my sixties, I realized, in order to live a long time that I'd have to get used to grief and loss. Amongst other things.

Not that I hadn't had plenty of experience with grief and loss in the preceding sixty years. 

However in recent years there's been some wrenching losses, individually and collectively. How I've handled it in the past is to compartmentalize it. I usually go into action mode, "fight" more than "flight". 

I can grieve later, I decide at the time.

There's a practical reality to this, as usually there's no one else to rely on or pick up the pieces. I don't feel I have the "luxury" to collapse in grief. As I write this, I realize that grieving isn't a sign of weakness, and it doesn't have to bring collapse. I can grieve and I can be in action at the same time.

The part of me that is grieving is the part of me that perceives loss. It's the part of me that wants security and stability, and believes those things are in relationships, and material things like a roof over one's head.

It's the part of me that isn't going to make it out of this lifetime alive, so views everything in very black and white terms.

As Consciousness, I don't feel grief nor loss, because I know I am always connected with my loved ones, whether they're in physical form or not. As I write this, I also realize I'm always connected with loved ones not yet in physical form as well. Which delights me.

As Consciousness, I don't need a location for security, as I'm creating all of this in the moment. I don't need security, either. Security doesn't make sense to one that is infinite, All that Is, creating all things.

However, also as Consciousness I've created this form, my body/personality, and am aware of it's needs and desires. 

When I live life *as* Consciousness with a physical form and personality, it doesn't mean marching forwards as if its needs don't matter. That's like riding a horse and neglecting to give it water, abandoning at night when wolves howl. 

As Consciousness, life means experiencing every delicious and difficult aspect of being in physical form. It actually doesn't mean marching forwards towards anything. That is a body level kind of measurement.

Also just realized that living "a long time" is also a body level measurement. Of course bodies want to live as long as possible.

Being in the present moment, is as close to feeling the infiniteness of Consciousness as you can feel.

As a collective, we've been through an enormous amount of grief and loss in the last year or two. We've been experiencing an accelerated shift in Consciousness that heightens our awareness but also our empathy with others. This magnifies grief and loss as we're not just feeling our own emotions.

We're also losing everything we thought was real, but actually was just egoic levels of importance. That's not to invalidate people who lost loved ones during the pandemic. People have transitioned to nonphysical in increasing numbers during this time. That's been hard to handle, we miss their physical presence and the prevalent "noise" makes it difficult to connect with them Spirit to Spirit. They're still there but it's like a bad cell phone connection - easier to talk to but harder to hear.

Evolving to a new level means letting go of what was familiar, and we may fight it even if what was familiar wasn't comfortable. We might be so used to being in pain and unhappy, we're resisting taking steps that would improve our lives or expand our quality of living.

When I'm in that place (and I kinda sorta in that place right now in certain areas), I don't need to immediately leap to being perfectly pain free and joyously happy all the time. Although as Consciousness, I can easily do so. For my body's sake, I can take baby steps to change. 

 

Do You Need To Lose Your Ego/Personality?

Do You Need To Lose Your Ego/Personality? ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

I know of three people who had profound spiritual awakenings, and lost their personality when they did. I personally believe they might have had mini-strokes or breakdowns. Regardless of the reason, they each went from being depressed, even suicidal, to an expanded knowingness, overnight.

Collage of Eye In The Sky by C. Löser

In some spiritual practices, it's almost a requirement to destroy your ego in order to attain spiritual transcendence. 

However, I believe that kind of requirement is a distortion of whatever the original teachings were. Like the idea that you need to deprive yourself, of food or sex or money, in order to be more holy.

You don't need to have a stroke, you don't need to suffer, nor do you need to become a blank slate, in order to shift from a lower awareness to Consciousness.

(One person who had a profound Consciousness Shift after stroke reported that her personality actually came back after a couple of years, but she just laughed at it).

You don't need to destroy your ego, you just need to discern the difference between it, and the greater aspect of You, the essence of you, which I like to call Consciousness. 

If you look around, most everyone in the world is operating as their personality. Decisions are being made and actions are being taken, not as an Infinite or expanded Consciousness but as the little being in a body that has survival needs, that has limitations, that's only going to be here for a number of years. 

I've found that the more disconnected you are from yourself as Consciousness, the more you will be running off of compulsive behaviors, and the more out of balance your life will be.

When you shift your perspective to that of Consciousness, you operate differently in the world. You're aware of your personality and your body's needs. You don't deny them, you care for yourself with adequate food, shelter and companionship.

It's not an overnight process (unless you want to have a mini-stroke or breakdown of some sort). But it's a process of learning to navigate differently, of discovering the difference between running the show as the "little" will versus the "greater" Will.

Your world does transform, and can transform rapidly, when you start operating as Consciousness. Yet it transforms in ways your personality may expect and beyond what your ego can imagine. 

There's a greater result beyond whatever it is you think you want to be, do, or have right now. And it can be had easily and effortlessly, simply by shifting your perception to the greater viewpoint of yourself as Consciousness.

Sexuality, Gender and Consciousness

Sexuality, Gender and Consciousness ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb

On our radio show, Conscious Conversations with Joan and Janet, the theme for February is about Love.  We started with emotions, then love, and our most recent show was on sexuality.

Emotions are the language of the body.  Consciousness only experiences joy.  Body/personality feels -and emits - a wide range of vibrations.  It expresses itself with emotion.  Babies cry when they're wet, they cry when they're tired, they cry when they're hungry.  As adults, our bodies do the same, they just have a wider 'vocabulary'.

Love is a heart-opening experience.  We can't truly love without being able to merge energies with another.  Consciousness IS Love with a capital L.  In searching for love, we're actually seeking to experience that greater, infinite connection with the Essence of who we all are.  In expressing Love we are giving from the greater aspect of ourselves.

Our sexual preference is more than a biological urge to procreate, although conception brings Love into form in the most physical way.  It's also about Love.  Attraction is both genetic and psychological.   Gender is about identification.

What is happening on the the planet is that the higher vibration of Consciousness is coming more into physical Form.  It's more than just increased energetic sunshine, it's also a greater inner resonance. As this brighter light emanates from within, it illuminates shadows, it disintegrates limitations.  Things are no longer black and white.  There's an entire spectrum available to us.

So now we have beings coming into form that don't identify with the sex characteristics of the body that they're inhabiting.  On one hand, this is confusing to me as I see our bodies as genetically designed for us.  As Consciousness we create our reality down to the smallest detail.

When I step back and observe from the perspective of Consciousness, I get greater understanding of what is going on.  On one level it looks possibly chemical - that there's so much added in our food and environment that it affects hormonal development. But on another level it's about the creativity of Consciousness.

As Consciousness we can create in the blink of an eye.  As Consciousness, thoughts instantaneously become form.  In the physical realm, manifestation is slowed down, things take time to change.  These infinitely capable and creative beings can't blink their eyes and shape shift after they've embodied here.

Another aspect of this is that as Consciousness everything is harmonious.  In form, we experience dichotomy and discomfort.  We create challenging situations for the fun of it. We come into difficult circumstances because, as Infinite beings, love the creative conundrum.

A voice in the back of my head asks why this should even *be* a problem.  As we radiate greater Consciousness, identity roles dissipate.  Our hearts are opening to more and more possibilities.  As we accept others right to choose, we're allowing more options for ourselves - in everything and anything in our lives.

Consciousness *is* Love. You are Consciousness. You ARE Love. You created your body from Love.  Love *is* the life force energy in everything.  Anything that doesn't appear loving, is the shadow side of Love.  Shine light on it and it will disappear or transform.

Here's a powerful exercise for this week.  Sit still and tune into yourself as Consciousness within.  Notice what it feels like.  Notice where in your body you feel it.  Imagine this energy increasing.  Feel it emanating outward.  Sit in this experience for as long as you feel like it.

The next step, after you've had some time to feel it from within, is to imagine it radiating to all aspects of your life.  Anywhere you experience conflict, see it being enveloped in this warmth and light.

You don't have to assign it the label of Love.  You don't have to love your enemies, love your stepmother, love your mortgage bank.  You just have to emanate this vibration of Consciousness to the situation or circumstance that includes these things.

It's best not to have preconceived notions about what you want to happen - that's placing limitations on the results.  Remain curious.  Miracles will happen when you do this!