Hover Above The Holidays

Hover Above The Holidays ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

We in a potentially contentious holiday season, with things seeming more inflammatory than usual. What’s the best way to get through them without napalming bridges between family and friends?

When you find yourself at the dinner table with racist and sexist remarks flying, I invite you to take a mental step back and shift your perspective.

You don’t necessarily have to leave the room (although I’ll share a useful technique later that uses that action). Just imagine hovering above the table, like you’re watching a movie.

Because in reality, you *are* watching a movie. When people go unconscious, as they do at the holidays, they start spouting lines and playing roles that don’t reflect who they really are as Essence. You’ll see the worst of Uncle Kevin or your sister, because they’re as triggered as you are in family settings at the holiday. They’re just most used to operating without awareness than you are. (I’m presuming, since you’re reading this).

You are Consciousness, experiencing life in a physical form that has emotions and feels sensations. You are bigger than the story that is happening at the moment.

Your relatives that proudly trace their lineage to Robert E. Lee and spout Faux News headlines, are also Consciousness. As entangled in the story as they seem, they’re more than the characters they’re playing.

Hovering above allows you to detach from the intensity of the scenario. It helps you be able to respond rather than react. You may even discover your heart opening, and find these nut jobs endearing.

When you’re not engaged in reality as it seems to be, you get to experience reality as it really is. You may find yourself having deep insights and revelations, when you’re viewing things from a higher perspective.

Now if the festivities get too much to handle and you want to leave way earlier than it would b socially acceptable to do so (and this works even if you’ve just gotten out of your car and haven’t even gone into the house or restaurant yet), you can play a little game I call Parallel Universes.

As Consciousness, we’re experiencing reality on a multitude of levels, and we’re actually experiencing all possibilities at once. It’s just our body-personalities that feel like they’re going along a linear timeline and being in only one version of reality with a set script and inevitable outcome.

As Consciousness you can shift your storyline by stepping through invisible doors to different ones. Now you aren’t going to step through an invisible door and teleport to a white sand beach in Thailand. But you can step into a different version of a family gathering.

So if it’s about to be World War III at your dinner table, you can get up to go to the restroom or the kitchen and imagine stepping through invisible doors where it’s unfolding differently, where it’s al harmony and love (some open ended intention). Leaving the room you’re actually passing through a portal anyway - every door and archway can be one. And when you walk back in you may find a reality where people are getting along.

This also works if you haven’t even gone into the gathering yet. Stepping through invisible doors from your car to the front door, you can shift being in a different storyline altogether. You can discover an Uncle Kevin (or sister) who’s newly in recovery and not drinking, for instance.

It doesn’t work if you set a specific intention like, they’re not drinking or they’re not racisit anymore because that’s coming from your personality that wants to control. When you step through doors with open ended intentions what results is something your mind can’t preconceive. It’s beyond your wildest imagination.

Go into the holidays with a sense of playful curiosity, what will happen if I do this? I wonder what will it be like if I hover above?

Play with this, and let me know what happens!

Don't Apologize For Being Neutral

Don't Apologize For Being Neutral ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

There is a lot of emotional and mental noise in the world today. Things are really polarized. And there's a big message out there that if you aren't upset about something, there's something wrong with you!

Often, however, the more dramatic the scenario, the less likely it is to be true. It's more likely a distraction from something else really going on. Or is simply an indicator of a distorted perception.

97% of us grew up in dysfunctional homes. Many of us suffer from PTSD. When triggered, there's going to be a very, *big*, reaction. And, wow, there's a lot to react to in the news.

But how does it feel to react to all that's going on? How does it feel to be in the thick of it?

I find it really frustrating and painful. I had a lot of sleepless nights this time last year. It reminded me of the misogynism and narcissism of my childhood. My response, when I got old enough, was to fight back. In that scenario, I think I was the only one to leave without feeling like a victim, with a sense of power because I could stand up.

Yeah. That's a pattern that's not in present time.

My expanded perspective now, as Consciousness, is that anything that is negating, anything that is dramatic, is not the Truth. It is an entanglement of density. It emanates from bodies and personalities and is disconnected from Consciousness.

When I'm responding as Consciousness, I feel neutral. I don't get emotionally caught up in the stories. I have a bigger picture viewpoint. I see the greater Light of Consciousness shining in the world and exposing that which has been hidden in shadows. I see uncomfortable patterns rising to the surface to be cleared.

There's a valuable tool I learned when working with families and friends of alcoholics, and it's called 'detachment'. It's being able to detach, to not be emotionally affected by the alcoholic's behavior. When you stop responding to the chaos created by someone actively drinking, you can clearly see how you can adjust your own behavior. You can learn how to step back and let them have the consequences of their actions. It gives you the energy to take care of yourself instead.

Now, folks who are embroiled in the drama are going to get pissed off if you're not in the trenches with them. They'll accuse you of being disassociated, or frigid, or 'on the other side'.

But when you respond as Consciousness, you're able to not get drawn in. You don't need to apologize for being neutral.

Being neutral doesn't mean not having any feelings at all. But the feelings are even, not turbulent. Mostly as Consciousness, I feel compassionate, and even amused if it's really batshit crazy.

I've even felt sad about some situations. But as Consciousness I know things can get reversed in an instant. As Consciousness, I know that *everyone* is Consciousness, even if they're not currently acting like it.

As Consciousness I know that this lifetime happens in a blink of an eye. This, too, shall pass. They, too, shall pass. Things, and people, can change.

Responding, from neutral, is retaining your power as Consciousness. No one has authority over your internal space. You can make empowered choices as Consciousness. And that leads to an incredible sense of freedom.

How To Handle The Mosh Pit of Life

 ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It's been an emotional roller coaster ride recently. With all the events around the world, no one has been spared, it seems. It's hard to maintain equilibrium in the midst of it all.

My original training as a healer and spiritual counselor taught me to be detached from my clients. The intention was to stay out of sympathy with them, because sympathy can actually be disempowering. If you feel sorry for someone, it invalidates their capability as Spirit. When you acknowledge them as Spirit, it recognizes them as whole and capable of creating their reality.

However the other end of the pendulum presented was empathy. The problem with empathy is that you're feeling their feelings. Which makes it really hard to be neutral.

I'm sure the original translation of the teachings meant to be compassion. That is, compassion in the Buddhist sense, which accepts and doesn't resist suffering, but also wishes all beings peace and happiness.

When I shift from my everyday perspective, where I can get caught up in injustice and sorrow, to an expanded perspective as Consciousness, I truly understand compassion.

As Consciousness I view the world as my creation, not a school but a playground of experiences. I can appreciate both the creativity of myself as Consciousness, and also the other aspects of Consciousness, in their life stories in form. I recognize that even the most unconscious-seeming person is still Consciousness. I can have compassion for the pain and discomfort that comes from being in form, in a body, without awareness.

There are some very painful stories out there. There's heartbreaking loss. And yet, as Consciousness, there is no loss. The dead are still with us, we just can't see them. The house is gone, things are lost that are irreplaceable in form, but there is life beyond.

Consciousness is neutral about these things. Consciousness is also neutral about time. It may take years to recover from the trauma, to rebuild lives. To Consciousness, this entire lifetime is in the blink of an eye.

Before "waking up", I was in tremendous pain for so many years. I was suicidally depressed some of the time. When I lifted out of that level of depression, I made choices that may have limited me to the outside world, but were intended not to tip me over, to keep me from going back into that pit of despair.

Our societal measurements of success are not the same as Consciousness.

You can't dive into physical reality without getting muddy. If you try to avoid it, you've missed the point of being here.

I look at what is happening in the world and I want to end poverty and starvation. I want everyone to feel nurtured and loved. I want everyone to be spiritually enlightened. I want everyone to have their heart's desire.

And when I shift my perspective as Consciousness, I see that what everyone is striving for, they already have. Freedom. We are free to experience the world in all of its aspects. We're free to explore the depths and the heights. We are free to create expansion *and* contraction, increase and limitation.

What everyone is desiring, they already are. At their Essence, they are Consciousness.

When I sense all of us as Consciousness, as much as I'd like to say it's like a symphony, it's really more like being in the mosh pit of a heavy metal concert. In the rain.

When I sense everyone as Consciousness, I can see how everyone is actually enjoying themselves here, even folks who thought they had tickets to Vivaldi and found themselves in the crowd listening to Metallica.

Amusement, Fear, and Consciousness

Amusement, Fear, and Consciousness ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

I've been telling groups that as Consciousness we're amused by Donald Trump and I'm afraid I'm going to get stoned by an angry mob afterwards.

I totally get it. Because at one level, there's nothing funny about the destruction happening to our country, our healthcare, our national parks, our national security, women's rights, people of color, lbgtq, I could go on and on.

It's infuriating, and it's terrifying.

At that same level, it's become so bizarro world in the news, the only response is hysterical laughter.

The amusement I'm talking about isn't that kind of laughter. But nor is it 'let them eat cake' kind of laughter, either. It's not flippant, it's not denial.

Consciousness amusement is expansive, like the sky, like the ocean. It's embracing and encompassing. It's neutrality and compassion at the same time.

I'll confess that I couldn't have written these words a few months ago. I was too enraged. I did not like the parallel universe I found myself in on November 9th. And it shook my confidence about the work that I do.

You know the reactions, fight, freeze, or flight? I had the first two while wishing for the third one. Fighting is my way of not getting paralyzed by fear.

Fear is a body emotion, bodies take everything seriously, bodies aren't going to make it out of this lifetime alive. Bodies feel the impact of the news.

We're not neglecting or abandoning our bodies by allowing amusement, by relaxing in. It's allowing Consciousness to be more present in physical form. Bodies find this comforting. (Because, hey, a body without Consciousness is dead).

So back to amusement. I know we're collectively coming through this, that we're surfacing to a new level, because these words are being written.

As Consciousness you exist both in this physical world, and outside of it. The greater part of you exists outside of time and space. The viewpoint is more than the bigger picture of your individual life and this point on your timeline. The greater part of you sees all lifetimes and all possibilities.

If you could take your life as it is now and hold it in this bigger context, what would that be like for you?

If you knew that nothing was ever lost, including loved ones, what would that be like for you?

If the story of your life had infinite possible plot twists available to you, what would that be like?

Consciousness' experience of this world is appreciation, joy, wonder. Amusement, because it experiences no loss. Amusement, because it takes nothing seriously (not to be confused with disrespect or disregard).

Over the months, a lot of spiritual people have said the only antidote to what's happening is love, to send Donald Trump love. I couldn't do that from the space I was in before.

Now, I can see how.

As Consciousness, you love this world as it is your creation, your playground, your fishtank, your children, your physical home, your plants, your pets. There is loving neutrality with the world and with how storylines unfold.

And, I firmly believe, no, I know because I see it happening, that as greater Consciousness comes into form, as we're so strongly experiencing now, that things can change quickly (sometimes in an instant).

The current story can be reversed or rewritten at any moment.

(I'm writing this on a Tuesday, to be published on Friday, so I'm very curious to see what unfolds by then).

Just as people radiating love into the world have impact (as much impact as phoning Congress and marching), so does allowing yourself to be amused. It's an avenue for greater Consciousness.

There's room for all responses, as they work on different vibratory levels.

Notice if, in the midst of the onslaught of news, you have glimmers of amusement. That's the greater You breaking through.

Relax into those glimmers and watch them expand into your life.

Play with this and see what happens!

Ethics, Values, and Morals (and Consciousness)

Ethics, Values, and Morals (and Consciousness) ©2016 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

"A person who knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses right is moral. A person whose morality is reflected in his willingness to do the right thing – even if it is hard or dangerous – is ethical. Ethics are moral values in action" from http://managementhelp.org/blogs/business-ethics/2012/01/02/what-are-values-morals-and-ethics/

An exercise I do with new clients is called 'Values Clarification'. It helps them determine their top 5-10 values and then they're able to use it as an assessment for how satisfied they are with their lives. It is also a tool for making choices and taking actions. If you have a high value on relationship but you spend your days debugging software alone in your office, you're not going to be very satisfied with your job (no matter how much Microsoft pays you).

Values are one thing, but ethics and morals brings the conversation to a new level.

GPS Photo by Darren Meacher

Consciousness is neutral. There's no good or bad from the perspective of Consciousness. This confuses people. If that's the case, then I can just start careening down my path treating people like shit and stealing from the government ("taxes, I don't need no stinkin' taxes"). Because I AM Consciousness and this is all an illusion so it doesn't really matter.

The mind that is thinking that way isn't Consciousness.

True, Consciousness is neutral. Consciousness is impassive. Consciousness doesn't get caught up in drama or detail. Consciousness is also Love. Consciousness loves *everything* and *everyone*.

[LOL, I got an 'Error' message right at this point of writing and quickly copied what I'd written before having to reload]

Although it is all an entertaining creation to Consciousness, it doesn't mean it's not real. I love my plants, my pets, including my fish tank. I created them to be in my life. I love my kids, I manufactured their bodies but they are taking their lives and running with them. And I feel unconditional love for them, regardless what they do.

...that's the parental perspective of Consciousness...

When I truly step into the perspective of myself Consciousness, the creator of my reality, it's a little different. I feel no need to try to change, fix or manipulate the hologram I've created to experience physical reality. I don't need to treat people like shit, if anything, I feel Compassion, because we are all Consciousness.

As Consciousness, I'm One, so for fun, I've created individuality, the sense of otherness. You could say this whole world is Consciousness playing with itself.

So the right and wrong thing. Although there is no right or wrong as Consciousness, there is light and dark in the physical realm. You navigate this using your inner Moral compass.

This Moral compass gets distorted much the same way as a little boy scout's compass can be affected by magnets. It's not pointing true north if you're feeling extreme emotionalism. If you're feeling that others are wrong when you are right. That's not your moral compass, that's your body/ personality/ intellect/ mind.

I know I'm navigating with my moral compass when I feel clarity. I may love this person but if they're sleeping with someone else, it's pretty clear we're not in an exclusive relationship. I'm pretty clear I want an exclusive relationship. It's a simple choice to step away from that relationship so I can create the space for what I want.

I may love my family of origin, but I feel insane around the old family behaviors. Clarity helps me with boundaries, how to navigate the holidays. I can go to the family dinner on Christmas eve but I can't do breakfast the next morning with them.

When you align your body/ personality/ intellect/ mind with yourself as Consciousness then your sense of right and wrong becomes clear. Your Moral compass is clearly about You and how You want to navigate life.

If you're staring at someone else's vehicle, you veer into their lane. When you as Consciousness are driving, your eyes are on the road - your path - ahead. You don't need to change how other people are driving.

It feels better to live life as Consciousness. It feels better to stand in the light. It feels better to have clarity.

Notice how you are navigating. Are you steering towards the shadows? Are you tailgating someone who you think is a terrible driver? Is your blinker on or tabs expired?

It's pretty simple to shift your perspective, it just takes doing it.

Try this for the next few days and see what happens!

Inner and Outer Work

Inner and Outer Work ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

As Unified Consciousness we are all one.  When working on a high energy level, there is no you in U.

However, in the physical, there are boundaries.  It's not helpful to merge energies (unless you're in love or making love).

Empathic healers often become ill, because they take on the energies of their clients and loved ones.

You can heal people from outside of your body space.  You can love others and be neutral about their choices and reactions.  It's hard to have neutrality when you bring energy into your body.  It's hard to have neutrality when your energy engulfs everyone, too.

It's hard to make decisions or changes when you're feeling everyone else's reality.  It gets confusing.  Do I feel sick, or does the guy in the next cubicle at work have a hangover?  Do I really want to buy chocolate milk at the grocery store, or is my kid in my space?

Meditation is often called 'inner work'.  When you are quietly accessing your own energy and information, that's inner work.  When you're journaling about your vision for your life, what your passions are, what you'd like to be doing, you'll find this inside yourself (your energy field).

When you're doing healing work, when you're visualizing or reading energy, it's helpful to do this on a 'view screen', kind of a psychic flat screen, in front of you (usually your forehead).

Seeing things on your view screen, you get the 'big picture'.  Seeing things inside your head... can be too close for clear focusing.  It's the difference between being an air traffic controller, viewing all airport runways with incoming and departing planes, or being down on the tarmac.

If you've been having difficulty making a decision, about work, about life, notice if you need to place it outside on your view screen.  Or bring it inside, to your heart.

Heart space isn't for neutrality, but it can be for compassion.

You can also bring it into your solar plexus,  to get a 'gut feeling'.

Play with this, putting things out on your view screen, bringing things into places, this week.  Notice the difference.  See what happens!