Slogging Through Other People's Density

Slogging Through Other People's Density ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

I've had several nights this week where I've been awake for ages, feeling other realities waft through me. I'm able to discern they're not mine, but I'm not fully able to pinpoint whose they are. But boy, some people are having a really difficult time!

Several people are crippled with anxiety. A couple folks are in the depths of despair. One gets me as they're mired in resentment, and I can go there myself all too easily in the wee hours.

It's almost always a loved one who's emotional energy I tune into, they span 6,000 miles and several time zones. But I often forget about the most obvious one - my husband right beside me in bed.

A devout Buddhist, he has a practice of praying for people, so during his wakeful hours he'll start thinking about different groups that are suffering. Which sounds oh so holy and lovely but for the empath next to him it's pretty gruelling.

I'll have no reference point or clue that he's focusing on starving Sudanese, or someone who is ailing. But I'll feel their emotional resonance.

It occurs to me that we're all influenced by other people's density, now more so than ever before. As we collectively go through the shift in Consciousness, our sensitivity is increasing. But our first reaction is to think it's our own reality.

Certainly, feeling other people's struggles colors our own experiences, but you don't need to stay stuck in their stuff. It doesn't help them to match their level of discomfort, and you can still have compassion while being detached.

Someone I know who is married to a psychic, created a technique for being able to sleep at night when his spouse is dealing with different vibrations. He uses an imaginary lead curtain (like the aprons they put on you at the dentist office when you're having x-rays).

You can also imagine yours frequency to be a 1/2 step above the vibration you're dealing with. It allows you to separate from the density without totally detaching.

If you're visual, you can imagine your energy field to be a different color than theirs. If they're a dark blue or grey, yours can be yellow or pink.

An ancient technique is to imagine a rose at the edge of your energy field, creating a defining line between your space and others'. I think of it like floats in a swimming pool that let you know where the deep end is.

Of course, at 2am I didn't think about any of these suggestions, or I would have gotten a better night's sleep!

Try these yourself and see how your reality changes!

How Can You Tell If You Are Going Through A Consciousness Shift?

How Can You Tell If You Are Going Through A Consciousness Shift? ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb

We hear all about this Consciousness Shift that's happening, but how can you tell if it's happening to you?

People like Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie had very marked transformations. They each literally woke up one morning and each found their ego had dissolved.

And, you know, they're famous people. They have best selling books. They've been on Oprah. So that must be what happens when you shift, right? No more pain, no more money worries, and you're instantly enlightened.

That's what happened to them. That's what's happened to some people. I talked to a woman in New England who'd had a similar experience, but lived a very quiet life afterwards.

It was a relief to connect with her. Because I was worried about turning into Byron Katie or Eckhart Tolle. I think it would be a pain in the ass to live with them. I can't imagine staying married or having my kids around me, if I were questioning every thought or being constantly in the present moment.

Of course that's the monkey mind ego talking. Because in reality, Byron Katie has a better relationship now with her adult children than when they were growing up. And has a loving relationship with her husband. Eckhart Tolle is also married (although I remember reading how he drove his wife crazy sorting out the recycling a piece at a time, when she just wanted to get it to the curb for pickup).

But the Consciousness Shift is different for everyone. It's like being at a baseball game and the crowd does "the Wave". People across the stadium start standing up, and it goes around the stands until it comes to you. Not everyone is standing up at once. And not everyone experiences it in the same way.

I've been evolving as Consciousness since 1974, consciously using techniques since 1981, and my language and experience has changed and expanded along the way. In 2006 I reached a tipping point, which propelled me into a new way of being.

Some people are finding themselves hyper sensitive, they're feeling or sensing everyone around them. Some are having a hard time sleeping. Many feel uncomfortable and out of sorts with their old lives, and yet excited and impassioned about what seems to be awakening within.

A lawyer I know felt crazy because she wanted to quit her practice and be a Reiki Master.
A Christian who spent every Sunday in Church since childhood, left her community and discovered a deeper spirituality than she'd ever thought possible.

What happened to me is my old practice stopped working, my old belief system disintegrated. It was very disorienting, since I was very identified with my teachings. I was an energy expert, in techniques that have been around for thousands of years.

I've successfully "upgraded" those original techniques, and found new ways to navigate. I had to learn to bypass my intellect, and be improvisational, responding to whatever shows up in the moment.

In the past few years my empathy has gone through the roof. I sense family members who live 3,000 and 6,000 miles away. I know when someone has read an email I've sent. And that's just with people who are still alive.

Ten years ago when I had a stint as a phone psychic, I developed clairvoyant techniques for talking with dead people. However what I experience now is kinesthetic, I'll feel them waft through me. And visual, usually symbolic reminders that they're around, although recently I'm actually detecting thought forms. Which might be more about time and space breaking down for me than actually connecting with the being in it's deceased non-physical form.

The newest experience for me is noticing gridlines. Not vertical like in the movie the Matrix, but horizontal, and sparkly, superimposed over physical reality.

The other day I was having a challenging time, taking someone recently diagnosed with dementia to a support group. It was bringing up memories of doing the same thing for my mother, although this situation and this person is completely different. Experiences like this have been coming up recently and they're an opportunity to be in present time, and release past energy.

When I was in the present moment, I would see these gridlines. When I sunk into my thoughts, they went away. Or, more accurately, I sunk into density and my ability to notice the gridlines went away. I'm choosing not to label or define it, I'm just noticing what is happening.

It's a very subtle shift. And I suspect for everyone, their expansion into Consciousness on one hand is subtle but profound.

On the other hand, physical reality could be completely falling apart around you. That does tend to happen when we move to a new level. When you no longer match the density you're in, reality reorganizes.

It's less painful when you don't resist the changes. It's more graceful when you navigate it as Consciousness.

You don't have to try to do anything to expand. It's happening without any effort on your part. You just have to notice. And enjoy the ride.

How To Handle The Mosh Pit of Life

 ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It's been an emotional roller coaster ride recently. With all the events around the world, no one has been spared, it seems. It's hard to maintain equilibrium in the midst of it all.

My original training as a healer and spiritual counselor taught me to be detached from my clients. The intention was to stay out of sympathy with them, because sympathy can actually be disempowering. If you feel sorry for someone, it invalidates their capability as Spirit. When you acknowledge them as Spirit, it recognizes them as whole and capable of creating their reality.

However the other end of the pendulum presented was empathy. The problem with empathy is that you're feeling their feelings. Which makes it really hard to be neutral.

I'm sure the original translation of the teachings meant to be compassion. That is, compassion in the Buddhist sense, which accepts and doesn't resist suffering, but also wishes all beings peace and happiness.

When I shift from my everyday perspective, where I can get caught up in injustice and sorrow, to an expanded perspective as Consciousness, I truly understand compassion.

As Consciousness I view the world as my creation, not a school but a playground of experiences. I can appreciate both the creativity of myself as Consciousness, and also the other aspects of Consciousness, in their life stories in form. I recognize that even the most unconscious-seeming person is still Consciousness. I can have compassion for the pain and discomfort that comes from being in form, in a body, without awareness.

There are some very painful stories out there. There's heartbreaking loss. And yet, as Consciousness, there is no loss. The dead are still with us, we just can't see them. The house is gone, things are lost that are irreplaceable in form, but there is life beyond.

Consciousness is neutral about these things. Consciousness is also neutral about time. It may take years to recover from the trauma, to rebuild lives. To Consciousness, this entire lifetime is in the blink of an eye.

Before "waking up", I was in tremendous pain for so many years. I was suicidally depressed some of the time. When I lifted out of that level of depression, I made choices that may have limited me to the outside world, but were intended not to tip me over, to keep me from going back into that pit of despair.

Our societal measurements of success are not the same as Consciousness.

You can't dive into physical reality without getting muddy. If you try to avoid it, you've missed the point of being here.

I look at what is happening in the world and I want to end poverty and starvation. I want everyone to feel nurtured and loved. I want everyone to be spiritually enlightened. I want everyone to have their heart's desire.

And when I shift my perspective as Consciousness, I see that what everyone is striving for, they already have. Freedom. We are free to experience the world in all of its aspects. We're free to explore the depths and the heights. We are free to create expansion *and* contraction, increase and limitation.

What everyone is desiring, they already are. At their Essence, they are Consciousness.

When I sense all of us as Consciousness, as much as I'd like to say it's like a symphony, it's really more like being in the mosh pit of a heavy metal concert. In the rain.

When I sense everyone as Consciousness, I can see how everyone is actually enjoying themselves here, even folks who thought they had tickets to Vivaldi and found themselves in the crowd listening to Metallica.

How To Handle Internal Noise

How To Handle Internal Noise ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

When I first started dating my husband, I could only hang out at his place for a limited amount of time. He lived in North Seattle and you could hear I-5 from his house.

I lived on Vashon Island, with less than 11,000 people. The city was just too noisy for me.

By the time we moved to Tacoma, I'd been back east caring for my mother and I thought that I'd become desensitized to city sounds.

What I hadn't counted on was an increased empathic sensitivity. The neighborhood we moved to had a growing population and the energetic noise got to be too much.

It's not just location, I notice the internet emanates a collective sound as well.

I believe we're all evolving as Consciousness and thus experiencing heightened abilities. For some people it's empathy, the ability to feel other people's feelings. For some it's telepathy or tuning into people's thoughts. For some it's clairvoyance, the ability to see on multiple levels. Precognition is the ability to know what's about to happen. Clairaudience means heightened hearing. You may be able to perceive through touch, or smell, as well.

When you first start having heightened sensitivities, you think it's you. I must be thinking these thoughts (until other people start to say them out loud). I must be feeling these feelings (even though there's no reason, your not triggered or tired). I must just be making this up.

As you become familiar with your awarenesses, you can start to discern whether it *is* you, or outside of you. You realize that you're always drained after staff meetings at work, because you're feeling the tension of all the people in the room.

For me the inner noise is quite remarkable. It's like listening to an arena full of people. You can't quite make out the conversations but you can hear the collective sound.

When you combine that with heightened empathy, feeling loved ones' feelings (regardless of what state or country they live in), it's a cacophony of vibrations. It can be quite frustrating or overwhelming, like living in an apartment building with thin walls; you can't make the neighbors turn their stereo down.

So, what can you do about it? There are several ways to handle the internal noise.

You can't make your neighbors turn down their stereo, but you can turn down your own internal 'hearing aid'. Imagine a dial for your sensitivity and turn it down a notch. For you this may not be a dial but a digital up or down button, press 'down' until the vibration subsides.

If it's an individual's communication (picking up on how your loved one is feeling) another technique is placing their energy in a window, to where they get the relief, answer, or solution they are seeking. You don't have to be everyone's personal healer!

Music not only drowns out external noise but can uplift your internal vibration as well. If you're vibrating higher than the collective, their energy can pass through without you being affected by it.

Play with these this week, notice what works for you, and see what happens!

Your Inner GPS

Your Inner GPS ©2015 Joan Newcomb

One of the confusing things about being an empath is that you feel other people's emotions inside you.  Sometimes I'll feel them come from outside, usually moving in from one side or another.  But their emotional communication will pop up inside as well.

It's one thing to hear the neighbor's music coming through the walls of your apartment, it's another to have it playing on your own Ipod!

I had something like this happen yesterday, a burst of anger inside.  There was no external trigger, no thought that preceded it.  If I'd been operating unconsciously, I'd have thought it was me, it could have influenced my actions.  Instead, I noticed it.  I discerned whether it was male or female, and scanned the possible origins.  Was it a response to a Facebook post? An email?  

It's more challenging to identify when I don't know them, or aren't in direct contact with me, but they're thinking of me for some reason.  Sometimes it can take days, weeks, or months for it to become clear who it was.

When you're navigating from Consciousness, you steer by responding, not reacting.  Sometimes the best response is waiting.  Waiting for the truth to be revealed.  Waiting for inspiration.

I've been having fun with the frequency of Consciousness (which doesn't feel like a color or a temperature, but simply the energy of clarity and focus).  It's feels amazing, expansive, and joyous. When strong emotions show up I bring more Consciousness to them, and they dissipate.

There's so many levels to the game of life.  You can walk through it as if everything is real, take everything personally, react as things happen to you.  You can go through it as if nothing is real, take nothing personally, respond when you feel like it, take action when motivated.  And there are many variations in between.

As Consciousness we're all One, but in the physical realm there are many individuals, generating ideas and projecting emotions.  Thoughts and feelings are ping ponging all over.

It's a different way of navigating life. When you operate as Consciousness, there's no one predictable outcome.  Possibilities become endless.  It's shifting from walking to flying.

Regardless of where you are in the moment, or what you think is about to happen, you can completely change your direction, simply by shifting your perspective.  And by bringing in Consciousness, it unlocks more opportunities to choose from.

Here's a couple ways to play with Consciousness.  Start by sitting still, and imagine bringing in Consciousness.  Don't define what it is, just notice what happens when you do.

You can also have Consciousness come from within, and radiate outward.    Notice what that is like.

You may experience this as feelings, or see this as vibrations, or hear this as frequencies.  It may bring things up in your body as physical sensations, or emotions, or in your thoughts.  Keep bringing in Consciousness and notice what changes.

Once you're familiar with doing this, you can play with doing it while driving, while at work, while interacting with others.

Try this for the next week and see what happens!

Border Crossings

Border Crossings ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

On this week's radio show, my co-host Janet and I had a chat about boundaries (amongst a lot of other things).  Janet says she doesn't have boundaries, she just lets everything flow.  I certainly agree that's the case with her energy work.  Conversations about website design or marketing email will just as easily end up being distance Matrix on family patterns.

My original clairvoyant training over emphasized "space", which was a huge Catch-22.  We were increasing our psychic sensitivities and yet when we felt someone's energies within us, we'd accuse them of 'beating us up'.

Years later I realized it was my own Empathic ability that allowed me to feel what others were feeling.  They weren't beating me up, they were just having a bad day.

I heard David Spangler say that everyone he meets expands his Universe.  That's so much nicer than everyone you meet 'invades your space'.  In fact, you can't fall in love without merging energies.

When you're operating in the physical realm, grounded into density and effort, walls appear solid.  When you're outside the box, in the realm of Matrix, there are no solids, only potentiality.

If you're grounded into form, the easiest way to have boundaries is to energetically occupy your body and the space surrounding it.  When you're focused in your body, there's no room for anything else.

The strongest "protection" is non-resistance.  When you allow yourself to be relaxed and transparent, energy just flows through.  When you're resisting, you magnetically attract what you don't want, and it sticks.

People who are natural healers, and natural empaths, will take on other's energies.  Sometimes it's just communication, tuning into what other's are projecting towards them.  Sometimes it's an attempt to make others feel better, taking on they're depression, pain, etc. in order to relieve them.

Absorbing other's pain isn't a healing, it's invalidating.  Everyone is Consciousness manifesting in form.  The more capable we are, the more challenging problems we'll create.  If we've created a problem, we have the resource within to remedy it. If someone takes that away from us, it invalidates our capability.

Often the most effective healing is to hold the space for someone else's transformation.  Hold them with open hands, hold them loosely, create a safe space for them to figure it out on their own.

In this new evolution of Conscious, healers are asked to focus within and heal themselves.  It's a challenge when you're knee jerk reaction is healing everyone else!  But by standing still, looking within, and healing yourself, you create a ripple effect outwards to everyone in your 'sphere of influence'.

When you heal yourself, you set a good example.  You give permission to others to heal themselves.

So for the next 7 days I invite you to withdraw your focus from others that need fixing, to your own form and surrounding life.

Try this for the next week and see what happens!

Feeling Other's Emotions

Feeling Other's Emotions ©2014

Empathy - the ability to feel other people's feelings.  Many of us have the ability to feel other's feelings, we just don't know it!  Or if we do, it feels like a burden.

Empaths are very sensitive to their environment.  They feel the energy of restaurants and offices, parties and gatherings.  It can be challenging to drive down the freeway, when you sense all the accidents that have happened there!

If you feel an emotion out of the blue, not connected to what is going on around you or in your life, it's probably someone else's.  You can pick up loved one's feelings, even if they're 3,000 miles away.

Feelings that don't make any sense, that feel really intense, are usually someone else's communications.  They are emitting how bad they are feeling.

Sometimes they come in on familiar channels.  You may allow them in because they're a friend or loved one,  Or they may remind you of a family members.

Sometimes it's just proximity.  The guy in the apartment above yours has been laid off and is really depressed.  Even though you are happily employed, you start having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

People who aren't empaths will say, that must really be your emotion, you're just in denial, but I disagree.  If you live in an apartment building with too thin walls, you're neighbor's rap music at 12am is not your bedtime listening choice!

You have no control about other people's remittances but you can, believe it or not, control your ability to receive.  You can 'dial down' your emotional 'hearing'.  You can zip up the front of your chakras to help protect your space.  Imagine your lower chakras being like volume dials, and turn them down.

This may be hard for some people to do.  Their empathic ability protected them growing up.  Perhaps they had a parent that was unpredictable.  They never knew what mood they'd be in when they came home.  But they could feel them coming, and knew when to stay out of the way.

People communicate with feelings, a mother may have a hard time turning down her empathy with her children, even when they're adults.  It's important to know if your infant is in distress, but less so to feel the anxiety of your twenty-something preparing for their graduate exams!

We mistake empathy for compassion.  You can feel compassion towards someone who's suffered a shock, a loss, but it doesn't help you help them if you're expressing the same intensity of grief.

If you're rescuing a drowning man, you need to keep your own head out of the water.

Society places great expectations that we match the energy of groups.  If you're actually able to be a half-step above the emotional energy field, you can be accused of being cold or unsympathetic.  You might, however, be the only clear-headed one in the crowd, able to lead the way out of darkness.

As an empath myself, my biggest revelation has been that I get to set my own energy level.  I can decide to be a different vibration.  I can imagine my aura to be a different color, I can see myself vibrating a half step above.  I can allow a sense of amusement for whatever black comedy I'm engaged in. 

Give yourself an empathic break today.  You will find it totally transforming your life!