What to do When Your World Collapses

What to do when your world collapses ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb

Every one of us will have at least one experience that shatters their reality. Every one of us will have at least one experience that shatters their reality.

You or someone you love will lose their job, be in an accident, get divorced, uncover a horrible truth, be diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness...

It may happen in an instant, or erode over time.  Whatever occurs will feel like a door has shut behind you, your path has been irrevocably changed.

How do you move forward? How can you go on?  

You may feel numb with grief, you may feel vulnerable, like your skin has been removed.  It may be hard to be around people.  It may be difficult to eat.  You may want to sleep all day.  You may not be able to sleep at all.

Energetically, what has happened, is that all your pictures of what reality should look like have been erased.  Your identity has been altered. It is very disorienting.

Your perception of yourself as married, employed, healthy, safe, has suddenly shifted to the opposite.

Imagine a house undergoing a remodel.  Sometimes it was consciously chosen. other times things blowup and make it happen.  You have to reinvent yourself.  You have to rebuild your life.

Everyone recovers differently.  Everyone has a different time line.  You can't have too many expectations of yourself when things first happen.  Perhaps you're in crises mode, you have to just get through it.

Numbness can be a protection, it can help you keep things together in the first few days, weeks or months.  You get through it moment by moment, and then day by day.

Your self-talk can make it harder - or easier.  When my dog ate rat poison, the weekend I was moving, I told myself, "this isn't a crisis, it's an event."

When my mother got Alzheimer's and cancer and I decided it would be inhumane to put her through chemo, I'd find myself saying, "I can't do this, I can't keep going."  And then I'd say, "yes you can."

Who is doing the talking?

We are more than our identities, we are more than our storylines.  The part of us that is shattered, that is grieving loss, is our personality-self.  Within us there is an Essential Self that is bigger than any problem.

Breakdowns are opportunities for us to strengthen, deepen, grow and expand.  They allow our True Selves to emerge.

The sun will shine again.  Mourn the loss but don't cling to it.  You will get through this.  The pain will eventually subside.

Look for hidden blessings, and angels in disguise.  Even in the bleakest moments, they are there.  It may be in a sunny day.  It may be kindness from a stranger.  Notice how the Universe supports you.

Nothing true is ever lost.  Your loved ones still exist in non-physical form.  Who you are at your core never goes away.  You may feel disconnected as you are going through this experience, but -You will emerge stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.

Know you are loved.  Know you are wise.  Know you are strong.  Know you can get through this.  

Most importantly, Know it will get better.

Reinventing Yourself

(c) 2010 Joan M. Newcomb

So many folks come to me who are looking for work.  Some have been unemployed for months, if not years.  Some were laid off, found another job, and got laid off again.  All are hugely frustrated from sending out resumes into the abyss.

More recently, I've had people come to me who are in secure jobs but wanting to quit.  Or people who don't have to work, but are being moved to make drastic changes in their lives.

What's so interesting is that it's the same energy affecting (and motivating) all of them.

We are being called to live in integrity.  We are being called to act in alignment with our Expanded Selves.  No longer can we work at jobs just for money.  We have to start doing what we're here to do.

It's not necessarily about finding and fulling your life purpose.  I believe our life purpose is to create.  How we create and what we create is unique for each one of us.

It has nothing to do with destiny, I don't believe anything is destined.  We're all on a road trip through life and we get to choose the route.

If you were laid off, it's a big message from the Universe (your Expanded Self) that you're to do something different.  If you keep applying for the same position, no wonder you're not experiencing any results.

The thing I know is, if you take a risk towards doing what you've been called to do, the Universe supports you.

It's all about acting with Consciousness.  Being Aware in each of your actions.  Operating from the Bigger Picture Perspective. 

You can tell when you're off-kilter.  You don't feel good.  There's conflict in your life.  You're experiencing restriction which can show up as lack of money, lack of love, lack of other needs.

Course correction can be dramatic or subtle.  You can make small changes and in a short while be on your path, feeling happy and content.  You can take extreme action and completely change everything in your life and feel exhilarated and alive.

It's all about reinventing yourself.  Who you currently are is your invention.  Everything you define yourself and your life is all subject to change.  You have the freedom to do things differently, and be a different person in the process.  Yet at your core you will be fully and completely Yourself.

In order to reinvent yourself, you have to let go of your old definitions.  You might hold on to your abusive childhood because it's made you who you are today.  Letting go of the 'survivor' label doesn't invalidate or negate your past, but allows you to step beyond it, to become a 'thriver'. 

You might discover that things you were really good at, that you got a lot of external praise for being, doesn't really satisfy you deep down.  Being an excellent marketer and able to convince people to buy products may not be what the Inner You really loves.

It can be scary to let go of what we thought was secure and real.  But the payoff is Expansion beyond our wildest dreams.

This week - reinvent yourself!