What's The Opposite of Compare and Despair?

What's The Opposite of Compare and Despair? ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It seems the greatest source of misery is to compare yourself with others. People's outsides are always going to look better, and you can't really know their insides.

You're really comparing your insides to their outsides. You can't really know your own outside because you're looking at it from within.

Stradivarius' Axelrod Quartet (photo: Mark Pelligrini)

When we compare ourselves to others, we're naturally going to despair. But if you had the exact same life as people you envy, you wouldn't enjoy it, because it wouldn't be *your* creation.  (Clue: if you're not enjoying your own life, is it because you've made it according to someone else's recipe)?

The best way to stop comparing and despairing is to do the opposite. But what is that?

The opposite of compare is contrast.

The opposite of despair is hope, or joy.

When you revel in your own uniqueness, you experience true joy.

We weren't mean to be cookie cutter impressions of each other. We're all meant to be distinct individuals. As a collective, our uniqueness serves to make the world more full and vibrant.

Violas may seem redundant amidst violins and cellos, but an orchestra without violas would be missing specific tones and notes. Violas provide their own special line of harmony.

Contrast is a good thing.

From the perspective of Consciousness, the physical world's contrast is exciting! Contrast doesn't exist in the realm of Consciousness. It's why it exists in this adventure in density and effort land. The contrast in your life reflects your creativity as Consciousness.

Relish your differences. Enjoy others for theirs as well.

Contrast can show up as hardships of difficulties - still reflecting your (or their) creativity as Consciousness.

When you shift your perspective to that of Consciousness, your hardships and difficulties reorganize into fun challenges.  Roll up your sleeves and dive into them!

Density and Effort

©2014 Joan M Newcomb

My husband was telling me a story from work when he paused and said, 'Density... and effort.'  It totally summed up the experience and attitude many people working there have.

Life in lower vibrations is heavy, negative, and drama filled.

From that perspective, it takes a lot of effort to get anything done.  Nothing ever changes.  Why bother trying?

Density and Effortland is filled with obstacles and limitations. You are powerless over them.

Things happen to you.  There are no choices.

Likewise, there is no responsibility.  It's always someone else's fault.  Scapegoats and black sheep abound.

I was thinking about this as I looked at my fish tank this morning.  The little fishies were all over the place.

99% of their activity is finding food.  It's all eat, or be eaten  (we're down to about 11 fry from the original 17 so I'm guessing the ones who are left have been doing the eating)...

Moving through this dense reality is like wading the ocean floor in a deep sea diver's suit.  You're at mercy to the currents, sharks can eat you, someone or something can cut off your oxygen supply.

It all feels very "real".

However, unless you're in a war zone or an ICU, it's probably not really life or death.  The world isn't going to end.

What is ending, or disintegrating, are old ways of being and interacting.  If you've been carrying on the family traditions (including the ways of behaving), these changes may even be threatening to you.

You may be mad at others for being happy, they're shining the light of Truth into your eyes.  It shows where you are not (happy or fulfilled).

Likewise, you may be mad at others for perpetuating the same stuck patterns you've been mired in.  Mirrors can be uncomfortable.

Sometimes we stay in effort so as not to abandon our friends and loved ones.  Who are we to be free?

Effortlessness isn't geographical, you can be amongst your family and still be lighthearted.  You can observe but not participate in their kind of crazy.

Shifting your perspective to 'outside the fishtank' doesn't mean you have to leave the fishtank, although sometimes that happens.  When you no longer match the people around you, other opportunities arise.

You don't get out of fishtank mentality by fighting the other fish, or trying to get them to change.  You can talk until you're blue in the face.  They won't get it (until they get it).

Change yourself, change your attitude, disengage, detach.  Step back, take your focus off them, drop down into your own heart, your own inner reality.

It may feel like a risk, it may feel like you'll lose everything familiar, but in truth you're only losing what didn't fit in the first place.  And you'll gain  YOU, your inner power, your own uniqueness, which nothing and no one can take away.

For the next week, notice your focus.  If it's on crazy and drama, look away.  It's not being in denial, it's choosing to change the channel.  Get off Facebook, turn off Twitter, drop the hooks and temptation.

It's all about you and You.

For the next 7 days, focus on your relationship with You, and see what happens!