Respond-Ability

Respond-Ability ©2015 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

Responsibility is such a heavy word. Being responsible can mean taking the blame or being at fault when things go wrong.  Being responsible can mean that you're the only one being accountable for the success or failure an endeavor.

Suck it up. Put on your big girl panties.

Responsibility sounds like no fun at all.

Responsibility is the ability to respond. When something happens, you are at choice to respond or react.

When you're responding, you're taking clear headed action.  When you're reacting, you're most likely emotionally engaging in other's dramas or projecting your own.

Reactions are usually unconscious.  You can train yourself to stop and take a breath when triggered.  Almost nothing needs to be responded to right away, you can take your time before choosing to respond.

Healers, coaches, and counselors can get stuck taking responsibility for others results.  You can be the most caring and capable person in the world, but your client's outcomes are their responsibility.  My most successful clients actually did the work, used the techniques, took powerful actions. They manifested their own miracles (with me cheering on the sidelines)!

Parents are prone to this as well, it's their fault if their children aren't living up to their expectations. I find the bigger the expectations, the more kids will underachieve.  When you can step back and see your child as the capable creator of their own reality,  you will be awed by what they can do.

The world won't come to an end when it's not on your shoulders any more.

In fact, when you stop taking responsibility for people and things outside your space, and start responding to what is within your own 'sphere of influence', your own life starts working so much better.

When you bring your energy back within your own boundaries, you become clear about your own dreams and desires, and have the energy to achieve them.

Respond-ability not only gives you energy and space, but also validates others as well.

It doesn't mean that you drop everything that you're doing, and dishes pile up in the sink. But you're able to do whatever you're doing from your own free will and without effort.

Try this for a week and see what happens!

Respond-ability

©2009 Joan M. Newcomb

Responsibility is the ability to respond. We've distorted it to 'taking responsibility', which usually means for something outside ourselves. Taking responsibility feels really heavy, usually, because it involves taking on energy that isn't our own.

Some people take so much responsibilty for the world around them that they neglect taking care of themselves. And other people resist taking responsibility so much that they neglect taking care of themselves, as well. Funny how that happens.

Imagine what it would be like if all you had to do is respond. Respond to whatever is in front of you right now. Respond to what is.

Not react - reacting is bouncing off someone else's actions or emotions. Reacting usually is an unconscious response. Most of us go through life reacting. We feel like things are happening to us.

When you're in responsive mode, you're at choice. Something occurs, and you can choose how to respond to it. Someone behaves a certain way in front of you, and you can respond. Or not.

When you practice respond-ability, it starts to become very clear what is your stuff and what isn't. Hmm. Am I doing something for someone else that they could do for themselves? That's taking responsibility outside yourself. It drains your energy and disempowers the other person.

Byron Katie has an audio about 'all that's required of me' - 'all that's required of me is to sit in this chair right now'. She says 'my job is to sit comfortably now'... that's a perfect example of being in responsive mode.

Doing the next indicated thing is also a great example of practicing respond-ability. All you need to do is the next indicated thing, all you need to do is take the next step in front of you.

Suddenly you're in the present moment. The burdens of the past have dropped away, the fears of the future are gone. Things become very clear and very simple.

Your main responsibility is to take care of yourself. The reason the airlines tell you to put the oxygen masks on yourself first is so that you can be breathing and awake enough to put them on others that need it. That's something I think about when even now my knee jerk reaction would be to pass out trying to put them on my kids. And my kids are 18 and 22.

When you're focus is pulled back into your own reality, your energy is within your own space. It's amazing when that happens - things you've been trying to manifest for years start to happen. Mainly because you're "home" to receive them. Other people benefit from you're taking responsibilty for yourself. Either they no longer have to take responsibility for you, so they have energy for themselves. Or, because you no longer are, they start taking responsiblity for themselves! It allows everyone to grow up, no matter how old they are!

So I invite you to play with this for the next week - think in terms of responding to, rather than reacting. And notice what happens when you do!