Savoring The Silence

Savoring The Silence ©2016 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

Today is a quiet day. I don't just mean a lack of traffic noise and leaf-blowers. It's empathically quiet as well. Which is unusual. Yesterday was very active. I had at least 3 people emotionally running through my system. I'm savoring today's silence.

My mother always had the radio on. It was her constant companion. At night it would somehow help her sleep - probably distracting her from random thoughts. During the day it kept her up to date on the news and the weather - her favorite topics.

Now we have online noise. We're wirelessly connected to everyone around the world. There's a cacophony of chatter that continues even after you've turned off your devices for the night.

Are you easily overwhelmed by humanity? Do you find yourself relaxing when you're away from the city, out in nature?

photo by Deborah Tilley

Highly sensitive people pick up on the 'vibes' around them. They'll tune into the atmosphere of a restaurant or office. They'll unconsciously feel input from groups they belong to.

Introverts need a lot of down time from social activities, because they are tired by the energies that invigorate extroverts.

Yet there are extroverts who are highly sensitive, too.

Even when I'm alone, solitude usually eludes me. I'm always tracking someone, somewhere. So I'm curious about what is really going on today, that I'm not feeling much of anything.

Is this the calm before the storm? I remember *the* 9/11. It was a beautiful, sunny day in the Seattle area. It felt immensely peaceful, which some attributed to the lack of airplanes. It was oddly serene, given the horrors happening on the East Coast.

Are we building towards something?

Or, are family members, whose depression and anxiety I normally experience, otherwise engaged?

Sometimes something serious is happening with them, and their energy is pulled back.  They could be busy elsewhere.

It reminds me of when I had young kids. Any parent knows to be suspicious of silence. It means somebody is happily drawing on walls with permanent markers or giving their little sister a haircut!

It also occurs to me that my own body isn't complaining about anything. We'll distract ourselves with external noise to block our bodies communication. We'll be stuck in our workday grind and ignoring our body being tired or hungry, angry or lonely.

I have noticed a lot of people struggling with depression (even with the days, in the northern hemisphere, becoming more sunny). It feels like we've been moving through a collective growth period, a phase of contraction before expansion.

Maybe the expansion is happening now.

If you've been struggling with internal -or external- challenges, and you notice a break in the storm that is raging about you, give yourself respite.

Savor the silence, when it happens. Know that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Know that ultimately, all is very, very well.

Power and Powerlessness

Power and Powerlessness ©2016 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

What a crazy time we are in. There has always been craziness, but we haven't previously had the global media pushing it in our faces to this extent before.

On one hand we have terrorists doing horrendous things around the world. Extremists spreading fear and disruption in the name of religion (which is directly opposite of what their religion actually teaches). On the other hand we have elected officials attempting to pass laws to restrict people's inalienable rights, also spreading fear and disruption in the name of religion, their interpretation of faith in opposition to what their savior really talked about. And we have officers sworn to serve and protect murdering and torturing, magnifying the fear and disruption in the world today.

"Empowerment", photograph by John S Turner

What's happening externally is also happening internally for many people. Issues are coming to the surface to be released. For some it's recognizing problems they hadn't seen before. Congratulations, you have an opportunity to expand beyond your limitations! For others, these are old issues they thought they'd dealt with before. If that's happening to you, know it's not that you've backslid, it's a whole new level to clear.

These issues may seem overwhelming. They seem powerful. They are dominating our lives, controlling our thoughts and behaviors. Wrestling with them is a losing battle. Admitting that we're powerless over them is scary - doesn't that mean they'll consume us? Actually, no. Admitting powerlessness is a way of reclaiming true power. You surrender the battle.

When you drop your attention on them, your attention returns to your Self. You can begin to heal.

At first the voices in your head scream the loudest, because that aspect of your personality is dying. Much like the headlines in the news, and the politicians whose antiquated beliefs are disintegrating. Admitting powerlessness over them means you stop feeding them with your attention. They get quieter and quieter and eventually go away.

I believe that, just as there's a Collective Consciousness, there's a Collective Unconscious. It's a cesspool of black energy fed by all the negativity in the world. Every negative thought you have contributes to this pool.

People struggling with addiction are susceptible to this energy. When they recover, the physical detox takes a relatively short time but the addict personality, the shadow side, can take them years to clear.

And there are people affected by other substances too commonplace to recognize. Sugar addiction is rampant, it causes people to be powerless over their eating, and how do you live without food?

People who grew up with, or live with, alcoholics or addicts, are susceptible to this energy as well. It may not be caused by a chemical imbalance within them, but they're affected by the behavior and the actions. Admitting you're powerless over others lets you drop your attention on them and restore your own sanity.

In the last week, I've had the opportunity to revisit core issues. There's financial abuse, something that kept me awake many nights a couple years ago, that I'm powerless over. I needs must let it go and know there's a greater Source that supplies all.

There's a family member with health issues, I can choose to be supportive even though I'm powerless over the results. Everyone creates their own reality, I can look at what I contribute to it and choose to be compassionate.

I'm powerless over people, places, and things. I'm powerless over finger-pointing, scapegoating, and rumors. All of these are 'bottom of the fish tank' in the ocean of life.

It's coming to the surface for everyone as we're collectively moving to the next level. We can live in a higher state of clarity (and serenity). Rather than engaging with the old stuff, we can let it break down and settle into the gravel.

We are powerless over everything outside of ourselves, and we're powerless over other's insanity that seeps into our space by association.

It's ironic because who we really are, as Essence, is Light. All we need do is focus on our inner Light and it dispels the darkness. Shadows disappear in the face of light.

Greater Light is coming into the world today, illuminating what needs to be cleared. It hurts the eyes of those used to sitting in the dark. It's uncomfortable to realize how much power we've given away. Especially to people who seem so powerful and turn out to be full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

True power comes from within. True power is quiet and strong. True power has no need to dominate or take from others. True power empowers - everyone.

Turn off the news, mute disturbing images in your timeline, ignore crazy making emails.

When you withdraw your attention from the noise and the craziness, you can tune into your inner light, your inner power. Old issues drop away. Miracles can happen.

Try this for a week and see what happens!

Harmonize for Holiday Harmony!

(c) 2009 Joan M. Newcomb

Last Monday was our island's annual Christmas sing-a-long at our local movie theatre.  It's very hokey- a small town affair.  Having lived here nearly 25 years, I have lots of lovely (& uncomfortable) memories of these sing-a-longs.

My earliest is my son Graham at 4 or 5, wearing his cowboy boots (which he lived in during those years) and Santa hat (which remained glued to his head from Thanksgiving through New Years) and running/dancing up and down the theatre aisles while everyone sang.  He's now a 6'4" freshman at Vassar!

My most recent is last year, sitting by myself in a nearly empty theatre, my heart full of loneliness and pain.  A blizzard had snowed us all in, my husband was stranded at his mother's in Bellevue and my kids at their dad's miles away, and I was alone the full seven days up to Christmas morning.  I'd hiked 2 miles into town to participate in the caroling.

This year was totally different, the place was packed and my husband was by my side.  That in itself was a Christmas miracle; he's a devout Buddhist and doesn't like to sing!

While we were singing, I had a revelation which I'd like to share with you - something that may make it easier to get through the rest of the holidays (and life)!

I like to sing alto.  When I was 6 or 7 I joined our school choir and learned the harmonies to all the Christmas songs.  What I felt was, that it was okay to be different.  I was the only American in class (we moved to England when I was 5).  I'm the only girl in my family (3 brothers).  Learning to harmonize, you learn to sing a different tune than others are singing.  You keep your musical line while others are singing the melody.  Energetically what this means is you hold your own vibration at a different level than others.

In a group, however, you're matching the music of others in your section, so you do have the strength/power of all the other altos (basses, tenors, sopranos, etc.) to match.  Alone, you learn to hold your own when others are singing the prevalent tune.

By the time I left high school, I'd sung in school choirs in four countries.  I learned to adapt to different cultures, make friends quickly, yet be ready to let go when my dad was stationed somewhere else.

What does this have to do with Harmonizing for Holiday Harmony?  Well, I've been writing about how to stay sane when visiting your (dysfunctional) family members.  Someone recently asked me how to stay serene around friends who are frenzied about Christmas.  And the answer is the same -

Set the vibration you want to be at, whether it's serenity or joy or peace.  Hold your own vibration where ever you are.  It's okay for you to be in a different space while others are going wiggy.

How do you do this?  I've several suggestions.  Imagine yourself in a bubble of gold - your own private Christmas ball.  Or pink.  Or blue. Whatever symbolizes to you the vibration of what you want to experience.  Have an emotional touchstone.  Does a particular Christmas tune or sound set it for you?  Does humming jingle bells awaken your inner child who still believes in Santa?  Does the image of Mary invoke her serene demeanor within you?

Before getting together with others, take a moment to use one of the above techniques (or one you've made up) to 'set your own tone'.  And let yourself hold it while you're with them.  It's okay for them to be emanating strident Yoko Ono sounds while you're humming the Little Drummer boy.  It's okay for them to be playing Flight of the Bumble Bee while you're ohming your way to serenity.  It's okay for their auras to be flaming red while you are fir tree green.

It's okay for you to have sanity in your head regardless of others' experience.   It's okay for you to be happy while they're sad.  Actually, it's okay for you to be sad while they're manically happy.  You can breathe and be real and you don't have to match anyone else.

Try this for the next week and see what happens!  And let me know! Joan@JoanNewcomb.com