Grief and Loss

Grief and Loss ©2021 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

When I entered my sixties, I realized, in order to live a long time that I'd have to get used to grief and loss. Amongst other things.

Not that I hadn't had plenty of experience with grief and loss in the preceding sixty years. 

However in recent years there's been some wrenching losses, individually and collectively. How I've handled it in the past is to compartmentalize it. I usually go into action mode, "fight" more than "flight". 

I can grieve later, I decide at the time.

There's a practical reality to this, as usually there's no one else to rely on or pick up the pieces. I don't feel I have the "luxury" to collapse in grief. As I write this, I realize that grieving isn't a sign of weakness, and it doesn't have to bring collapse. I can grieve and I can be in action at the same time.

The part of me that is grieving is the part of me that perceives loss. It's the part of me that wants security and stability, and believes those things are in relationships, and material things like a roof over one's head.

It's the part of me that isn't going to make it out of this lifetime alive, so views everything in very black and white terms.

As Consciousness, I don't feel grief nor loss, because I know I am always connected with my loved ones, whether they're in physical form or not. As I write this, I also realize I'm always connected with loved ones not yet in physical form as well. Which delights me.

As Consciousness, I don't need a location for security, as I'm creating all of this in the moment. I don't need security, either. Security doesn't make sense to one that is infinite, All that Is, creating all things.

However, also as Consciousness I've created this form, my body/personality, and am aware of it's needs and desires. 

When I live life *as* Consciousness with a physical form and personality, it doesn't mean marching forwards as if its needs don't matter. That's like riding a horse and neglecting to give it water, abandoning at night when wolves howl. 

As Consciousness, life means experiencing every delicious and difficult aspect of being in physical form. It actually doesn't mean marching forwards towards anything. That is a body level kind of measurement.

Also just realized that living "a long time" is also a body level measurement. Of course bodies want to live as long as possible.

Being in the present moment, is as close to feeling the infiniteness of Consciousness as you can feel.

As a collective, we've been through an enormous amount of grief and loss in the last year or two. We've been experiencing an accelerated shift in Consciousness that heightens our awareness but also our empathy with others. This magnifies grief and loss as we're not just feeling our own emotions.

We're also losing everything we thought was real, but actually was just egoic levels of importance. That's not to invalidate people who lost loved ones during the pandemic. People have transitioned to nonphysical in increasing numbers during this time. That's been hard to handle, we miss their physical presence and the prevalent "noise" makes it difficult to connect with them Spirit to Spirit. They're still there but it's like a bad cell phone connection - easier to talk to but harder to hear.

Evolving to a new level means letting go of what was familiar, and we may fight it even if what was familiar wasn't comfortable. We might be so used to being in pain and unhappy, we're resisting taking steps that would improve our lives or expand our quality of living.

When I'm in that place (and I kinda sorta in that place right now in certain areas), I don't need to immediately leap to being perfectly pain free and joyously happy all the time. Although as Consciousness, I can easily do so. For my body's sake, I can take baby steps to change. 

 

Our Crazing Is Beautiful

Our Crazing Is Beautiful ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

I came across a word the other day:

Crazing: cracks that occur in ceramics, usually with overlying glaze. A similar effect is found in glassware, called crackle glass.

photo credit Lara604

And I thought it a great metaphor for what happens to us as we interact with the external world. 

We come out as whole and pure. We are bright, shining lights of Consciousness in a chubby body that can’t yet roll over, much less walk or talk.

We are also treasure chests of information and possibilities. Each one of us is Consciousness expressing in form, and as Consciousness we already know and have everything we need to make real all that we wish to create in this life.

Yet prior to birth we are glazed with the expectations and assumptions from the body that contained us and the bodies that surrounded us. The glaze thickened after we emerged from the projections of culture and society.

Crazing occurs when you attempt to expand beyond all these limits.

You feel like something is wrong with you because the inner you doesn’t match the outer imposed identity. It starts to crack as you as Consciousness grow to fulfill your potential.

You feel crazy when you realize your Truth is different than the stories told you by family and school. 

The world looks crazy to you when you stand in integrity with your Truth. You see so many others operating out of alignment with their essential selves as Consciousness.

However, when you look at ceramics, you can see beauty in crazing. Just as uniquely beautiful as the wrinkled face of an older person.

In ceramics, crazing can precede fracture, which can destroy the piece (or transmute it into another art form). Yet crackle glass is highly prized and collectable.

This world is one of polarities and filled with dichotomies. It is a creation of Consciousness to experience the opposite of what Consciousness is, which is unity, joyousness, wisdom, timeless and formless. 

It is meant to be an experience of density and effort. And at the same time we can move through the world easily and without resistance, if we maintain our awareness as Consciousness. 

When we see our life as Consciousness, we can be amused by the insanity around us. We can fully appreciate being in form and being beyond form at the same time.

As Consciousness we love our body-personality, and we love our life. We play in our storyline with curiosity and wonder.

Shift your perspective to Consciousness, and you'll see the beauty in your crazing as well.

Fearlessness

Fearlessness ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

What would you do, if you weren't afraid to do it? Who would you be if you weren't afraid of what others would think?

Fear is a tricky thing, it masquerades as anger, vagueness, sleepiness, or even perfectionism. What it does, however, is keep us frozen, stuck, or spinning our wheels.

I never acknowledged feeling fearful until I was about 40, and if you look at my younger life, some of the things I did were incredibly brave. But it wasn't until later in life, as a parent with children dependent on me for their own survival, that I acknowledged feeling fear.

It's amazing what we do out of fear, we run from relationships or we rush into them. We leave jobs, or we stay in them too long. Or we rage, which gives the energy not to be paralyzed, a "deer in headlights", but often ends up destroying that which we were fearful of losing.

And here's the thing - fear doesn't exist at the level of Consciousness.  It's totally a creation of the physical realm. It's your body and the attached personality that experiences fear.  Your body-personality reacts to anything that moves it beyond it's comfort zone as a threat. Even if it's good for you. Your body can't conceive of anything it hasn't experienced. So even if it's what it thinks it wants, it may not be able to handle it.

When you're aligned as Consciousness, your little will to your greater Will, then you're in total agreement with everything that is going on. In the present moment, there's total balance and
acceptance.

When you're in the present moment, fear dissipates. The body isn't being forced ahead of itself, nor is it stuck in a past that it cannot change. In the present moment you can make choices and take action, initiate changes.

You aren't your body or your personality. You are Consciousness, you are Presence. When you're fully embodied, your body can relax. You as Consciousness can take care of things, and knows exactly what to do.

And often you find, when you're in Presence, that you already have what you thought you needed, that you never lost that which you thought you'd die without.

Self Driving Cars

Self Driving Cars ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

The other day, someone was telling me how they had been stuck in their schtick. They didn't like it but they also couldn't get out of it, until someone helped them dismantle it. Afterwards they felt lighthearted and free.

Google Self Driving Car by Becky Stern

It's reminiscent of how most people feel, going about their daily lives, feeling dissatisfied, discontent. They know they're stuck but feel powerless to get unstuck.

Until they experience a shift in Consciousness, and open to a whole new experience of expansion and freedom.

Our bodies are our vehicles on this planet. It's how we get to experience physical reality, and all the delicious sensations associated with it.

When we're operating unconsciously, our bodies become self driving cars. They're moving through their routines, they're picking up all sorts of impressions and having all sorts of reactions.

If you look around you, and if you look at the news, reality is filled with self driving cars, with very little Consciousness occupying them.

And, at the same time, there's an increasing amount of Consciousness coming into form nowadays. Which means all those cars are actually experiencing more Consciousness than ever before.

Which is why there seems to be greater collective freedom and empowerment AND greater outrage and atrocities than ever before.

It may seem like self driving cars don't *want* Consciousness occupying them. They want to keep careening about, smashing into dead ends and each other.

And yet, when Consciousness fully embodies, they calm down, feel happy, feel taken care of.

Self driving cars think they won't get what they want if they're not driving themselves.
But what really happens is they get everything they need, and more.

When you start to steer as Consciousness, the journey looks very, very different. Instead of chasing after things that remain forever out of reach, or feel hollow to attain, reality starts to reorganize in your favor. What you want starts to appear in your life, without any effort.

Instead of a winning lotto ticket, you have a prosperous and abundant life. It *feels* like you've won the lotto. Instead of the perfect job, you have a rich and rewarding career. Instead of your ideal soul mate, you have fulfilling emotional partnership.

All you have to do is take your vehicle off of autopilot. Shift your perspective from your personality to yourself as Consciousness. Navigating life as your own greater Consciousness is a very subtle, but profound, inner realignment.

When you do this, your life unfolds beyond your mind's wildest imagination.

Try this for a week and see what happens!

Your Biggest Block To Happiness

Your Biggest Block To Happiness ©2016 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

Your biggest Block To Happiness isn't your family. It's not your ex. It's not your job (or lack of one). It isn't money. It's not where you live. It isn't the government. It's not time (or being too busy). It isn't your kids. It's not your age. It isn't your appearance.

Your biggest stumbling block is your inertia.

Moments of Inertia by Lucas V. Barbosa

Everyone has it. And it's not just internal. It's a key component of physical reality.

We are all weighed down by inertia. It's amazing any of us get up in the morning. Maybe that's why bladders were designed.

It's what the Wright brothers had to overcome when inventing the flying machine. It's what anyone faces when trying to take a quantum leap.

How do you break out of your rut? How do you go from your mundane life to living your dreams?

I dunno. I think I'll go back to bed.

We make up stories about our inertia. Oh, I can never do this or that, because of them or that thing that happened to me.  Our stories are very powerful. They are dream killers.

You get offered that perfect opportunity. The thing that will set you free. And you say no. It's not the right time. You don't have the money. Your family... your friends... I can't because...

For many people, they won't change until it gets unbearable. It reaches a breaking point. They hit bottom and have to get up.

Maybe your not uncomfortable enough with your discomfort?

So, here's the thing - your dreams, your desire to change, comes from your Essence, who you really are. You are Consciousness, as Consciousness you are the creator of your reality in physical form.

As Consciousness, all you have to do is conceive of an idea and it's already real. You are already there.

The thing is, your physical form, your body and your personality, exist in physical reality, which consists of density and effort. Your body feels too weighed down to get out of bed.

When our bodies and personalities are in charge, we think we have to walk everywhere. When we operate as Consciousness, we can fly.

This doesn't take years of therapy. It doesn't take elaborate ritual. A shift in perspective doesn't take any effort. It's just a decision. It's just doing it. It's taking off the smeared glasses and seeing yourself and the world as it really is.

To Consciousness, it's a playground of density and effort. As body/personality, if you work really hard, you can achieve some of your goals. As Consciousness, you can create anything that you want. And it usually ends up being greater than you could have imagined.

As Consciousness you know the bigger picture, your body/personality knows only what it sees in front of it, and it's views are distorted by it's memory of the past.

When you choose to operate as Consciousness, life becomes an adventure. Unexpected things start happening all the time. Your day becomes a series of synchronicities.

You don't have to hit bottom for this to happen. And you don't have to lose everything that you value when you make this change. Reality rearranges itself and becomes more enjoyable. You love what is. You have exactly what you need when you need it.

When you operate as Consciousness, it's a joy to jump out of bed in the morning (and it's equally joyful to snuggle in the covers and sleep in). Happiness is everywhere.

Just doing it doesn't take any effort. It's a simple choice. When you choose to operate as Consciousness, opportunities show up. Information gets provided. The way becomes clear. It just happens.

And if you're reading this, you've already made the choice!