(c)2009 Joan M. Newcomb
In family groups I often see one person feel like they must have been adopted. They just don't fit in with everyone else. Energetically they're pioneers, here to help Consciousness move forward. They're meant to be on the leading edge. The rest of the members are there to continue the family patterns.
There's no good or bad to this, but often both sides are seen through those particular judgments. The one who's different must have something wrong with them, because they don't want to go into the family business. The rest of the family must be nuts because they all are still fervently religious. Sometimes the one who's different ends up having problems that people can point their fingers at. Sometimes the family that's left is filled with icky secrets.
There are those who grow up in abusive or alcoholic families who go on to create healthy families of their own. There are those who go on to spend the rest of their lives in prison.
Stepping back and looking at the expanded picture, it's just one is moving outside the family circle and it changes the configuration. It can trigger people's survival stuff because originally the family was needed to survive. Or maybe getting away from the family was the only way to survive.
In talking with someone who works in a homeless shelter, I became aware of this same movement of energy on a bigger spectrum. There are those who stay on welfare for generations. There are those who are there for a time and manage to move on.
Not everyone wants to change, not everyone is meant to change, not everyone is capable of change. Even if they're unhappy and they complain, underneath it all they're content in their misery.
Narcissism is an incurable personality disorder, because the person can't look at themselves. You have to look at yourself in order to be able to change. Abusive men rarely improve because they feel entitled to treat their wives or children that way. The sense of entitlement is very difficult to shift.
From the point of view of the ones who are on the leading edge this is incomprehensible. Because they're born to be the lightbringers, the ones who help consciousness evolve, to help raise the vibration of Consciousness.
But it's all part of this wonderful game on Playground Earth. There are the scouts, the pioneers and the settlers, and each one has an important part to play in the marvelous, multicolored and multidimensional interweaving of energy.
So stop trying to make others change (either pulling them back into the fold, or trying to pull them out)! Inspire only those who are inspire-able. Shine your light for those who want to see it (not squint and whine that it hurts their eyes). Move forward in your own unique way without resisting how others are living their lives, and you'll find your own life much more enjoyable!