Hitting Bottom ©2016 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC
Sometimes your face has to hit the pavement before you turn around and look up.
Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.
We're watching a group of people imploding because what they believe is true and real, is not. What they think is powerful, is not. They have no true foundation, so what they are building cannot last.
It's scary to consider they could take the rest of us with them.
But maybe reality has to get just that insane, before we reclaim our power from it.
Do we have to step back and let it self destruct?
Non resistance is the most powerful form of protection. It's when your energy is so light, so transparent, that negative energy passes right through.
Non resistance has also been a powerful tool for social change. Perhaps we need to access our inner Gandhi, our inner Martin Luther King.
In non resisting, we don't feed the madness, we don't participate with crazy.
When you have a loved one who's an addict or alcoholic, you have to step aside as they are bottoming out. They need the consequences of their own actions. If you're not going down with them, they can't blame you for their bottom. But you can be there for them as they're climbing back out.
It's a different story when you're dealing with a narcissist or abuser. There's similar denial when you are entwined in their story, but it's not as clean cut to detach and step aside. There's no bottoming out for them. They're focused on taking you out first.
The most dangerous time for someone in a domestic violence situation is when they are about to leave or have just left. That's when they get killed. The abuse may have only been emotional or threatening before.
If an abuser is leaving, he created a campaign to assassinate your character. He spreads rumors, "she's so cold and unfeeling," "I'm leaving because of her mental cruelty" (when those adjectives really describe himself).
The best way to unfriend a narcissist is to ghost them. To slowly evaporate from their lives. Otherwise they'll do a similar campaign.
In leaving an abuser you have to have a plan. Know where you are going, a safe environment, supportive people. It may take months, secreting money away, a suitcase of clothes, learning the legal implications and prepare for possible reactions.
Narcissists and abusers are extremely resistant to therapy. Narcissists are unable to look at themselves. Abusers feel entitled to treat people the way they do. They'll pretend to respond to treatment and then revert back to their old behaviors the moment they have you back.
When I do the Skybox technique for this current reality, I look down at the field and it's a riot in a rugby match. Players and fans rolling in the mud, the coaches and even the refs standing on the sidelines, arms folded.
Patterns are rising to the surface with the intent to clear and people are getting entangled in them.
I look for the lightbringers and they are dots in the darkness. They seem to be underground, yet creating a network of light.
The information I can access from the Skybox is that, although as players we may feel powerless over the situation, over other people, places and things, it is time to get in touch with out internal power.
As Consciousness we are infinitely powerful. How we hold our own amidst this chaos is to center into our internal power.
As we each do that, it changes the landscape.
When I move up to the Goodyear Blimp, to get a broader perspective, I see the patterns breaking up faster than anticipated. Those in archaic power structures scrambling to get what they can before it all disappears.
When I focus on areas of the field from this higher viewpoint, I can clear those sections. It gives me a sense of power (and knowing where the power comes from, my highest self, not my player self).
I bring that awareness down to the Skybox and it helps me looking down at the scrimmage on the field. I can see the lightbringers walking inbetween the players bashing each other, recognize the actions being taken to restore harmony to the field. It is the ultimate in non-resistance, not engaging with the fight energy but focusing bringing a different vibration to the whole.
I decide to join them, going down first to the sidelines, where I hear the coaches and refs talking. What I thought was inaction is really discussion and planning. Empowered movement is intended.
You can do this for yourself, for your situation. Go up to the Skybox and view your life from the bigger picture and gain wisdom from your higher self. You can bring it back with you in order to respond rather than react, and make choices and take action from more empowered stance.
I'm very curious to see what unfolds in the next few weeks.