I found myself walking into the hospital yesterday to visit a relative. The last time I went there, they were in the emergency room and I almost couldn't go in, I was having so many flashbacks to taking care of my mother and being in the hospital and sleeping in a chair in her room for 18 days with her.
This time I felt an energetic shift as I walked into the building. My body, my energy system, felt fully in the present moment. I was aware of the memories but detached from the intense emotions from that time.
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| photo credit: Melissagarcia17 |
It allowed me to have a pleasant visit with him, even setting up Skype so he could talk with his son.
This has happened in layers over the past few years. My mother went into the hospital in August of 2011 (first traumatic event). We went to the same hospital for laser treatment on her lung cancer in October. We went for a followup MRI in December where it revealed the treatment didn't work. In February of 2012 she went on home hospice so we didn't have to go there any more.
In June of 2013 my husband was hospitalized overnight for a suspected heart attack (it was an infection instead), and I was surprised at my visceral response. Different hospital, opposite side of the country, but even so.
And since then, there's been three other hospital trips with different people, so I guess repeated exposure has helped de-sensitize me, and de-energize my memories.
For some people it re-traumatizes every time, and hardens into full blown resistance.
Today I see them as opportunities to release and let go.
Our past seems to revisit us but really the patterns are swirling about us all the time. We notice them showing up in our reality, because we're passing through that pattern. It's either unraveling or tangling, and we have an opportunity to respond differently.
When I don't fight the memories, when I see the patterns as opportunities, I can soften to them and not get entangled.
When someone shows up in your story line from the past you can see them as an actor returning for a cameo role. Unless you want them to reenter as a returning cast member. It's you're show, you can decide.
Also, as you navigate your life from the perspective of Consciousness, you will notice that some people drop out of your life, because they're no longer a vibrational match. You can view them as cast members who aren't renewing their contract this season.
Just because your past is revisiting you, doesn't mean that you are returning to a previous state. It's like going home and realizing that your childhood house seems much smaller now. You're bigger, and maybe no longer a fit for those circumstances.
Even if you want to go home, you're not returning as the past person that you were. You get to be there in the present moment, as the adult and evolving Consciousness that you are.
Consciousness is expanding rapidly. We are experiencing frequencies accelerating at an unprecedented rate. There's a lot of turnover happening right now.
Stay in present time and non resistance, and all this can be very enjoyable!
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