My impression of God as some bearded dude in the sky dissolved a long time ago. It became The Universe that I talked to casually ("Hey, U!"), and when I did, the world became brighter and more sharply defined. But a few years back it shifted yet again, to Consciousness.
It was quite a dramatic transformation in my awareness, and I actually was quite depressed for a while. It stopped being something outside, it stopped having any way of defining itself in concrete terms. It is light years from the hierarchical, power outside, greater than, entity I grew up with.
But it was no longer the benevolent Universe, either. It was simply Consciousness, as neutral as the sky or the ocean. Like oxygen, that exists within every cell of my body as well as in my surroundings.
When I did in person Conscious Conversation Meetups, I'd feel more expanded Consciousness. It was effervescent. I could feel the space between my molecules.
So I should have been ecstatic at this shift, and I was, momentarily. But then I went into a bleak period I am only just coming out of.
Because that was 2016 when the world started going to hell in a handbasket. Every day the news gave more evidence that we're living in a simulation. None of this is real. And yet, no sense of it ever getting better, either.
And the sky remains the sky and the ocean remains the ocean. Nothing personal. Not even when the weather is being dramatic, is it personal. It just exists.
In the last week, however, I'm getting inklings that I'm coming out of it, whatever it is, the tunnel, the cocoon, spiritual puberty.
I was journaling about something and got a visual image of the ocean, not filled with water but with Consciousness. Filled with effervescence, filled with sparkly silver-white Consciousness. So I dove into it and came out of it, and felt the tingles run down my shoulders and arms.
Something is breaking through.
I've talked a lot about bringing Consciousness into my awareness or bringing Consciousness into situations, and it doesn't really describe the shift I'm experiencing. It's not an outside in. Because Consciousness is in every atom. There's no outside, inside.
Acknowledging Consciousness in every atom, feels like a great awakening.
Feels like coming up for air from being immersed in density for such a long time.
I really don't know where this is going. I just know it's a huge growth period. An enormous expansion. I'm curious to see how reality changes externally.
For now, I'm just acknowledging. Consciousness in every atom. And appreciating waking up.
I invite you to notice what's shifting and changing for you at this time. And want to reassure you, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
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