©2013 Joan M. Newcomb
Funerals and weddings are very similar. Families are thrown together under emotional circumstances. It can bring out the best in people, or the worst.
It's an opportunity to open up the emotional baggage and let the moths out. You might find there's nothing in there, except your tiger striped leg warmers from 1987.
You can show up clear and centered and in the present moment, only to encounter people who remember you 'back then'. What they project doesn't fit, but feels familiar, and suddenly you're compulsively eating sugary mints and throwing back extra glasses of wine.
It's helpful to remember that everyone else is lit up like a Christmas tree, with all their own "stuff". They aren't even noticing your growth space. Sometimes the best way to navigate it is to pretend you're in a movie.
It may not be the best time to have heart to heart talks with people, to pull out your resentment list, or expect an apology from them! For one thing, they'll have a completely different version of whatever happened.
I have a new technique for dealing with projections (both from other people towards you, and from you towards others). I call it the "Bug Zapper".
Imagine yourself surrounded with electric blue lines, like those Bug Zappers on TV. Any time a projection from someone else comes towards you, it gets zapped. *And* any time a projection comes out of you towards someone, it gets zapped and disintegrates as well.
It doesn't shock you, or the other person, it just deletes the pictures or the energy. It clears your vision in dealing with others, and keeps your space clear of others' distorted images as well.
You may find people being different, because those slides are gone. At the very least, you'll feel better.
You don't have to reserve the Bug Zapper for special occasions, you can take it to work, to dinner with the in-laws, to the weekend picnic.
Try it out for the next week and see what happens! Leave a comment or email me your results, I'd love to hear how it works for you!