(c) 2010 Joan M. Newcomb
Every once in a while I encounter someone who is overly attached to their condition or story. Their caught up in all the miserable details and suggestions for alleviating it are hotly argued. They may feel defined by it that they're victim of it or a survivor of it. It may be their excuse for not moving forward - it is too big to overcome.
It's especially interesting when they're seeing me for a session. I mean, they're paying me so I expect that they want light shed on the situation and they want it transformed. But often they just want to talk about it.
This week I mused on my own stories that I'm attached to, the ones from my past that contain pain or frustration. When I tell these in my head, I immediately disempower myself. I'll regress to the time when it happened, and forget that I'm older and wiser now.
Looking at it energetically, I see two things: the story appears as pictures or transparencies that, looking through them, distort reality and there are patterns in the field that you can get stuck on. The patterns are created by the collective energy of everyone with similar stories and can be a sargasso sea to try to navigate out of.
If you really want to feel better, if you really want your life to transform, you have to let go of the story and steer yourself in a different direction.
How you can tell if you're stuck (because sometimes it's so familiar to you, it doesn't seem like a story but just reality) is if it feels uncomfortable. If it's anything other than joy, serenity, happiness, or contentment, it's a distortion.
Fighting or arguing with a pattern just adds energy to it.
If you're triggered by something, you're buying that it's real. Ironically, buying into your pattern, drama, or discomfort drama makes it a problem, makes it real, and doesn't bring about a solution. Again, if it's anything other than joy, serenity, happiness, or contentment, it's a distortion.
Ironically, buying into your pattern/drama/disease/problem makes it a problem, makes it real, doesn't bring about a solution. You don't need to react dramatically to things, even if they seem dramatic. And you rarely need to react to anything immediately. You can take time to have a neutral response.
Sometimes it's choosing not to hang out with people who reinforce the old paradigm. If you can't be detached and not match their energy level, it can be better to take a break from them.
Sometimes you have to dive into the uncomfortable feelings it in order to get through it. But sometimes that just mires you in more deeply. Notice if diving in, you emerge on the other side exhilarated. If not, maybe trying another technique will be more effective.
Sometimes it's about making different choices with your thoughts, steering your attention to more positive things. You can find that your negative thinking is a bad habit which requires some vigilance to change. I've found that, once your start catching your thoughts it doesn't take long before being positive is your new set point.
Try any of these suggestions for the next 7 days, and see how your life transforms!