Saturday, December 4, 2010

Internal Navigational System ©2006 Joan M. McCabe

Internal Navigational System ©2006 Joan M. McCabe

I’ve been having an amazing period of growth recently. A series of circumstances brought me yet again to another ‘bottom’ around New Years. It turned out to not be a ‘crashing through the floors to the basement’ bottoming-out, but instead I landed on my feet and discovered that I was actually on the third floor.
A kind of Divine Intervention happened to instantly restore my energy to myself, and my focus to my own life. And when I did that, I felt wonderful. If I spent any time looking at the previous five months, I felt like crap.

I’d gotten off track last summer when I began crossing my own boundaries, feeling there was something wrong with me if I felt bad when someone was inconsiderate or hurtful towards me. Something critical or insulting would be said, and instead of backing off, I would try really hard to gain outside approval.
All that evaporated over New Years. Focusing on my own life, I saw where I needed to roll up my sleeves and work, and also some really great things almost instantly manifested in my life. I suddenly felt connected with the Universe and flooded with affinity for myself and my world. I was almost giddy with self esteem. Thoughts like, “I’m the most wonderful person standing in these shoes”, “I’m the most adorable person inside this coat”, and “I’m the loveliest person in this bathroom” would pop into my head.

Random thoughts like these continue, and I feel restored to my Internal Guidance System in a way I haven’t felt in years.

Being in this place of clarity, it is much easier to choose where I want to direct my thoughts. For instance, instead of remembering how awful an experience was, I can appreciate how delightful the present is, or consciously set an intention for a future experience. What I focus on magnetically attracts more of the same. Sometimes it seems almost magical the positive and good-feeling experiences that keep flowing towards me!
I find I have to make choices about who I hang out with and be aware of the atmosphere of places in which I hang out. Some people have been quite upset with me that I’m not at the same level of drama or misery they are! Some environments are no longer comfortable for me, and that’s okay. This world is so big, so vast, there are endless choices of people to be with and places to go!

At the beginning of this article I mentioned that all this occurred with a Divine Intervention over New Years, but I realize that some of this was set into motion over a year ago. The previous December I made a decision to quit working in Bellevue because I wanted to facilitate spiritual classes. Back then I realized that I’d been operating ‘under the radar’ most of my life so that I wouldn’t be the target for my father’s criticism (this didn’t work, it only *invited* more). I realized that my life was really between myself and Source/God/Universe. So I made the decision to step forward and risk being entirely self-employed with my three businesses, even though my savings ran out in February.

This November I challenged myself further to examine my patterns about money, which has affected my relationships and my choices for most of my adult life. Each of these steps took me out of my stuck patterns and allowed my ‘Divine Intervention’. Each of these steps were course corrections, each time gaining back a little more connection to my Internal Guidance.

If you’re feeling ‘off course’ in your own life, you could look at how you’ve been navigating through your choices and actions. Have you been basing your decisions on outside approval or inner well being? Even one small change, one baby step, can start steering you towards a better feeling place. Tiny changes can start a ripple effect that can result in your whole Universe coming into alignment!

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