Who Am I?

©2010 Joan M. Newcomb

I participate in a group who all, in one fashion or another, follow Robert Scheinfeld's Busting Loose model.  It's interesting to see different people's interpretation of the work.  I've taken the last several months to reflect on what my own Truth is, what feels right and real to me based on my own life experience and learning. 

Someone pronounced how we are all Players in this Human Game and as such we have no power.  I didn't agree with them in the way they were saying it, although as I write this out now, I can agree with the statement.

As Players in the Human Game, we have no power.  The Player self is the part that's running around, engaged in the story and drama, that believes physical reality is real.  It's the part that is fully engaged in the roller coaster of life.

When you want to (and try to) change, fix or improve the Hologram it doesn't work.  You're fighting with the scenery, just pushing the furniture around. 

A clue is if you have a Big, Fat Opinion about your storyline, and feel really strongly that things have to change, you're probably viewing things as your Player Self.  It takes things really seriously.  Everything is life and death to it, since that part isn't going to make it out of the story line alive.

For those of you who are regular readers of my Ezine/Blog, you know I'm talking about the Body/Personality.  It's the 'Meat Suit' you put on to play the Game.  It's the physical form you manifest to play here on the planet.

However, you're also an Infinite Being.  Actually, how *I* would say it, is You are an Infinite Being.  As Such, You created all of this (including your Player Self).  When you shift your perspective and start viewing your life *as* You, your storyline becomes amusing.

For regular readers, you know I also call this your Essence, and in the old days I'd say Spirit.  Consciousness is a good word for it, too.

Abraham-Hicks calls it your Inner Being, but I don't quite agree with that (although I love the term Inner Being).  It still implies that it's something other than Yourself.  You *are* your Inner Being.

If you just view things as your Player Self, you can get stuck in powerlessness.  I know someone who spent the better part of a year lying in bed crying when she hit the first level of Busting Loose.  The story of her life dissolved around her (which She was Creating it to do).  But she wasn't able to get out of it until she started identifying with her Infinite Self.  It didn't mean things stopped disintergrating or the roller coaster ride ended, but she started having more fun playing here.

The other end of the spectrum is when you identify with your Infinite Being but as still viewing it through the lens of personality.  Wow, you are SO POWERFUL, you CREATED ALL OF THIS!  And then ego runs around like a little Napolean, screaming and yelling at people (because IT CREATED ALL OF THEM).  After a while it falls flat on its face and goes back to proclaiming it's powerlessness.

When you're lined up, Infinite Being and Player self, you feel amused, in balance, in agreement with everything that's happening.  You don't need to change, fix or improve anything.  But you do feel at choice with your actions in the game.  Instead of being stuck to the script, you get to improvise. 

When you're acting as an Infinite Being operating through the Player self, You don't get mad at others, because You know they're created by You.  They're Other Aspects of Yourself, in Your hologram to play with.

There's only one Infinite/Essence/Spirit; You are Unity.  You created others to get the experience of individuality and of diversity. 

As Infinite/Essence/Spirit; You are Joy.  You created your Player Self to experience a variety of emotions for the fun of it.

As Infinite, there is no good or bad, no time or space.  All of those things exist in this world because... you guessed it, You wanted the fun of experiencing these things.

When you start seeing things as Infinite/Essence/Spirit, it activates your Knowingness.  Player self only knows what it's experienced since it was born.  As Infinite, You *are* the Cosmic Internet.

Now, Player self is a limited vehicle and there's only just so much You can cram into it.  So if you're saying, "Well how come I don't know my future?  How come I don't have the answer to everything? How come I'm not rich and famous'.  As you expand your awareness, raise your vibration, let go of effort, You can embody it more.  You choose not to know the answer to everything or everything that's coming up, because the game wouldn't be as much fun any more.  How many times can you play tic-tac-toe without getting bored?  On the other hand, isn't chess with all it's myriad of moves and combinations, far more fascinating?

You don't create being rich and famous because, as Infinite, You *are* Abundance.  Experiencing lack is much more interesting!  Even rich and famous people still experience lack.  Will Smith, on the Oprah Show, confessed to waking up in the middle of the night worrying about money.

When you connect inwardly with You, money becomes a non-issue.  It's about trying new and different things, taking risks, going through changes, living life to the fullest.

This week I invite you to shift perspective.  Start viewing your life *as* an Infinite Being.  What would it be like, thinking of all your problems, if you viewed them as the Infinite Being You Are, creating them as fun challenges?  What if You were bigger than your problems?  If you're struggling with another person, boss, friend, relative, partner, what if they were castmembers in Your storyline, You the Infinite Being created to interact with?  You brought them into this game at the perfect time, perfect moment, playing the perfect role for You to bounce off of?

Go throughout your day and week making little shifts in perspective, and see how Your life transforms in 7 days!