Think of something you want in your life. Is it a new (or renewed) relationship, a successful career, more money, less weight, better health?
How would You have to be different?
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| Go For It! |
Look back on your life, have you ever had that thing that you want? What did it feel like? What changed when you didn't have it anymore? Maybe you've never had it, it's always been just out of reach.
You keep saying, 'oh I just wish I had' more money, but reject suggestions on how to create it. It's too hard, it would take too much effort, you'd "sell out to The Man".
"I wish I had a relationship" and yet everything about your life keeps people out rather than lets someone in. Really sharing intimacy is scary. Being alone is like living in a house with no mirrors.
You never lost that 'baby weight', or all women gain weight at menopause, or powerful men (or women) carry more weight. Being thin feels vulnerable. Being thin means unwanted attention.
Health patterns, body gets sick, body has pain, body feels discomfort. It's always been that way, my dad had the same problem, it's genetic. No matter how hard I try, I can't... (fill in the blank).
If you had what you wanted, what would you lose? Maybe your partner wouldn't take care of you anymore? Maybe you wouldn't attract someone in your life to take care of you?
Maybe people wouldn't like you anymore if you were (whatever it is)? You'd lose your friends.
Rich people are unconscious. Wealthy people just care about their money. You can't be spiritual and prosperous.
I can want that thing, but I can't have it because...
Argue for your limitation, and they're yours (Richard Bach). Just because something has always been that way, doesn't mean it can't be different.
In order to have what you want in your life, you have to change your core identification. Start thinking of yourself as a thin person. An abundant and generous person. Someone in partnership.
What does success feel like?
A couple decades ago, Shirley Maclaine was on the Oprah Winfrey show. Oprah made a comment about weight and Shirley looked at her and said, if you want to lose weight, you'll have to want everything to be different (or words to that effect). After that, Oprah turned into a stick. It was her first bout with weight loss, and it wasn't healthy.
Then Oprah moved into a phase of running marathons, her weight stabilized. She was at a place of gaining power and strength, both in body and in her life.
Then Oprah radically put on weight again. She shared about having thyroid problems. She probably entered menopause. What was also happening, she was developing a network station (beyond just her TV show). Her weight ballooned as she expanded into this new aspect of power in her life.
Now she's had her network for a while, it looks like her weight is going back down.
Oprah's a wonderful example of changing her reality, and bringing up core issues we all struggle with.
Whatever is most elusive in your life, you are propelling away from you in your beliefs. You may be comfortable in your discomfort. Misery is familiar, joy is not.
At the end of an energy session, I tell people to 'notice what is different'. If you go, well that didn't change anything, you've reset yourself back to the state you were in when you walked in the door.
Healthy people made different choices (about food, about lifestyle, about...). People in relationship share their lives, make space for someone in their world.
If you've never had whatever it is you want, you may not know what it feels like. Be willing to step into the unfamiliar. Open yourself to being different.
You may be in a family system, or a constellation of friends, that support the way you are, but not something functional or healthy. Be willing for the old to fall away. Maybe you can be a shining example for others to follow!
What would it take for you to have what you want? Are you willing to go to any length to be healthy?
Maybe people in your life actually want you to be happy, or to have what it is you desire. Notice if you deflect other's suggestions.
You claim you want to be thinner, people only see you eating salads, but not the ice cream in the middle of the night.
You bemoan being poor but never follow through on those help wanted ads on Craigs List. A little voice in your head sabotages your efforts. Who needs enemies when your own thoughts are doing such a good job at holding you back?
You can be thin after menopause, you can be healthy and people still like you, you can have money and free time as well.
Changing your reality is as simple as shifting states. Step to one side or another, and you've stepped into a parallel reality where that is possible. Notice what is different.
Notice when the 'Automatic Negative Thoughts' come up, and ignore them. Don't feed the ANTs with your attention.
Healthy food tastes better. Good men (or women) aren't so hard to find. There's a perfect job out there with a wonderful work environment.
Shift your focus and you'll see all the new possibilities.
Make one change in your routine, take a walk after dinner instead of watching tv. Have fruit for dessert.
Imagine the world wanting your success. Your attaining what you desire encourages others to have it as well.
Whatever transformation you want, Your expanded self already is there. Step into that new reality.
If it's earning or working, be different with your time. Catch yourself on your 'time wasters' and spend 15 minutes tackling something on your 'to do' list.
If it's money, be different with your spending. Start tracking your numbers, save receipts, look at where you are leaking money. Clarity can be a big relief.
If it's food, write down everything you eat. Make different choices. Stop drinking anything with calories. Choose water or tea with lemon.
If it's relationship, notice whether (or where) you hang out with other people. If all you date are alcoholics, stop hanging out in bars! Meet people for coffee rather than drinks!
Is there room in your life for someone, or is half of your bed piled high with books?
Yes, you've heard this all before, but nothing changes if you change nothing. Stop spinning your wheels.
"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off!" (Gloria Steinem)
Perhaps you have to get angry to get out of your rut!
Sometimes we claim we want something, and it's actually something else we really desire. What would make you happy?
The Universe wants to give you what you're asking for. Can you have it?
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