Grief, Fishtanks and Upgrades

Grief, Fishtanks and Upgrades  ©2014 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It's been a tough week, two people we knew died on Monday besides Robin Williams.  With the other celebrity deaths, it must have been quite a welcome party in Heaven.

This isn't what I meant to talk about it but I will.  I have been suicidally depressed at times during my life.  When I was sixteen, I took a massive overdose, and ended up in a coma for three days. I wasn't trying to kill myself, but the pain had gotten so bad I didn't know how else to express it.

When I left my first marriage, the holidays were excruciating, and nothing looked better than slipping off a ferry boat into Puget Sound.

Things began turning around when my friend died.  The grief was unbearable and yet I was getting constant input from him.  I got the awareness that that we are always connected as Consciousness, and our lifetimes pass in the blink of an eye.

 The physical realm is like a big swimming pool, and dying is getting out of the pool when swim time is over.  I could have another 50+ years in the pool, so why not enjoy splashing about?

It wasn't so easy, it took several more months to realize that 90% of my thoughts were negative. During most of the day, I would tell an imaginary audience my stories of all the terrible things that were happening to me.  I had to figuratively grab myself by my ears are redirect my thoughts to positive things.  However, after only a couple of weeks I found myself lifted out of a depression that I'd been in for over a decade.

Note: I'm not saying that you can bring yourself out of depression just by changing your thoughts.  Sometimes people need help with their brain chemistry, and should talk to their naturopath or medical health specialist for recommendations.