I had plans this week to write about this shift to 5D and what it looks like from an in-body perspective. I may still write about it. But right now, through a series of completely unexpected events (very eclipsian), I’m sitting in my son’s living room, acting as the caretaker for my ex husband. He’s been disabled since having a massive heart attack in 2012, and my son, who was 25 at the time and is now 33, has been caring for him ever since.
So I am still not done with my helping my brother, but I’m down to flying out to NYC only 1 week out of them month. And this came up suddenly, and the hands on caregiving is only meant to last until they can hire someone. But it is so, so, so very interesting that it’s me here doing it.
My ex and I divorced almost 25 years ago. A whole other wife has come and gone since then. We shared custody of the kids, but I had some clear boundaries. I never even stepped into the most of houses they lived in during those years. Never saw my kids’ bedrooms there.
When he had his heart attack, I was in DC caring for my mother. When I came back the following year, he was still somewhat functional. But over time it became clear that he was neurologically affected by oxygen loss during the heart attack, and has other physical issues.
I viewed him as a relative that was ill, and extended a hand when I could to support my son. Mostly that’s looked like runs to Costco once or twice a month. There was a time I tried taking him to a memory support group, after he was diagnosed with dementia. And picked him up from the hospital a couple times after some severe bouts of pneumonia.
But this is the most I’ve actually been in this house, and interacted with him, in almost 25 years.
It feels oh, so, eclipsian. And actually a reflection of the Consciousness Shift.
You would think that a Consciousness Shift from 3D to 5D would be raising higher in vibration. But this is diving deep into ancient patterns, shining light and disintegrating them simply by being different with them.
This is walking, clear eyed, straight into them.
My son has done an amazing job taking care of his dad in extraordinarily painful circumstances. His brother lives in Spain and can only come out a couple weeks a year. There is no other family here. His dad has dementia and also emphysema, so he is being with someone who is slowly dying, who is taking years to die. There’s an ongoing grief that happens when you are with someone doing that. Who they were has already died and you mourn that loss. Your job is to provide a safe space as they are leaving the body. During the eight years since the heart attack, my son bought the rental house they’re living in, and has begun a very successful business. But has sacrificed in other areas of his life. How many 33 year olds are in this position? Usually we’re much older, having raised our own families, when this happens.
I sit here, when I’m not bringing his dad coffee, moving the cat out of the room when he wants to smoke (yes he still smokes), or helping him navigate to the bathroom (he can’t recognize shapes or distances any more), and bring Consciousness into this place. With no specific intention. Not changing, fixing, manipulating or controlling the hologram. Just responding to what is.
My ex is amazed at my ability to recall. He asks a question about something in the past and I tell him exactly what happened in way too much detail. I’m calling myself The Keeper of Memories, since it seems I’m the only one to know these things.
This is what it looks like, the shift to 5D from a 3D perspective. We can’t take our past with us. We are all needing to leave our baggage behind. Those of use with a heavier load of experiences (or concepts or beliefs) are being extra confronted at this time. The more capable of us have created more challenging life times.
And I get to bring light into darkness, which is my purpose for being here. I get to break family patterns by responding differently.
I just remembered that today is my first wedding’s anniversary. The irony is not lost on me, that I am here today, thirty five years later.
In greater Consciousness, there is no past or future. There is no deeper or higher. As Consciousness all the histories are happening at once. As we expand into greater consciousness (5D) yet remain in form (3D) we get to experience physical reality with less density, less pain. We shall not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
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